


Best Served Cold

by mea_culpa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:18:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mea_culpa/pseuds/mea_culpa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis was a drama student, so it only made sense that when his best-friend Zayn wanted his help with his film project, Louis agreed. He thought seducing heart breaker freshman Harry Styles would be easy, until he met him and realised the real task would be to not fall in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Served Cold

**Author's Note:**

> I own the idea but not the men :( Also this was originally posted as a chapter story on my tumblr so you may have seen it before :)
> 
> I apologise for some formatting issues - my computer is acting up and things like italics aren't working.. I hope that doesn't cause too much annoyance.
> 
> Thank you for reading the product of my blood, sweat and tears  
> xx

~1~

 

“No, absolutely not.” Louis shook his head at his best friend and then continued on to his next class.

“Please! I need you to do this, Louis! I need you!” Louis laughed as Zayn batted his big baby browns; they had been friends for far too long for him to fall for that trick.

“No means no Z, didn’t your mum ever tell you that? Those poor girls!” The darker of the boys huffed and placed himself in front of his friend, a solid wall that couldn’t be passed. Louis sighed. He was already late for his English Literature class so he could either stay and hear out his friend or he could go and be bitched out by his ancient professor about the importance of being on time and the effect it can have on his later life.

“Fine. But this doesn’t mean I’m going to say yes. Nothing you say is going to make me think this is okay.” With a flip of his long caramel fringe Louis turned on his heel and led the pair to their spot under the large willow tree, away from any of the classes he was supposed to be attending that morning, just in case. They made themselves comfortable, backs pressed against the ageing bark, before continuing the conversation. Zayn started, with a seriousness to his tone that made Louis actually listen – instead of the half-arsed attempt he was used to.

“I’m failing film, which is crazy as it’s all I do, but apparently although I’m technically better than most of my class Mr Keen says my subjects aren’t thought provoking enough. That they don't make the audience feel anything.” Louis frowned, having not fathomed the idea that his friend could be failing something that he was clearly born to do.

“Sorry mate,”

“It’s fine Lou, because I have a good idea, one that could get me an A.” Zayn grinned hopefully, causing Louis to groan.

“Asking me to seduce some kid isn’t going to get you an A,” he pointed out.

“Ok, maybe I shouldn’t have opened with that earlier, but hear me out okay?” Louis rolled his eyes and picked at his nails as he nodded. When Zayn had approached him on the car ride in, asking him to seduce a fresher, he had said no straight away. Louis wasn’t out for gratuitous sex from naïve freshmen and he certainly wasn’t about to trick them into it. However, if there was more to the story he could at least listen before giving a definite no.

“Alright,”

“You remember Michelle?” Zayn asked, a soft expression dominating his features.

“Your sweet sixteen prom date?”

“Yeah, her little sister, Rachel, she’s 16 now and started seeing this older guy a few months back - he told her he loved her, she gave him her virginity and then he tells her he can’t see her anymore because he’s gay.” Zayn left his heavy words weighted in the air, allowing them to sink down into his friend’s conscience.

“What a dick!” the older boy exclaimed. He thought about his own sisters and how he would feel if it had happened to them. His blood boiled.

“Right! So Michelle wants to get back at this guy and we’ve come up with the perfect idea!” The younger boy’s deep eyes sparkled with excitement, leaving Louis with a sense of dread swirling in his gut. Nothing good ever came from Zayn getting excited.

“Which is where I come in?” Louis’ voice was hesitant. He knew somewhere in this great plan he would have to seduce someone and he still wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Right! Because see, this guy is supposedly gay - and you’re a guy who doesn’t mind getting with the odd guy himself - so I’m thinking you do to him what he did to her. Hook him in, make him love you and then kick his sorry arse to the curb!” His grin was triumphant and actually, if he thought about it, Louis did see that there was a weird form of justice hidden within Zayn’s retaliated plan of revenge. He wouldn’t usually agree to hurting somebody on purpose, he didn’t usually like hurting them by accident, but what this guy had done couldn’t go unpunished. What’s to say he wouldn’t do it to someone else?

“And how does this help you?” Louis questioned, attempting to bring the conversation full circle.

“I’m going to film it all and hand it in as my final project.” Zayn flashed a smug smile but waited patiently to find out whether his best friend had his back.

“I’m in!” Louis grinned, a sense of pride pooling in his chest. He was helping get rid of a sleazy bastard while helping his friend pass his favourite class. Neither of them were surprised at his change of heart, Louis was a sucker for a wounded underdog. “So who is it?”

“Some freshman, Harry Styles.”

 

~2~

 

Louis scanned the refectory with interest, wondering if Harry Styles was sharing the chaotic space with him. He didn’t like to admit it, but he was actually quite excited about getting started. He felt like a superhero of sorts, enforcing justice and all that. Although that didn’t over shadow the fluttering of nerves that swam around his insides. Seducing someone wasn’t easy and it wasn’t something he had particularly tried before, girls - and the odd guy - had always kind of fallen into his lap so he really wasn’t sure where to start. There was so much to worry about, maybe Louis wasn’t Harry’s type, maybe he was already seeing someone, maybe he just used being gay as an excuse to get away from the girl and actually wasn’t. That would certainly throw a spanner in the works.

He had dismissed a couple of unsuitable, at least as far as he was concerned, people and had a handful of five possible maybes. He was really hoping that it wasn’t the greasy haired punk in the corner that had been staring at him for the past ten minutes. He had to be convincing and he hoped that this Harry guy was at least reasonably attractive. He may be studying drama but he wasn’t that good of an actor, not yet anyway. He shivered at the thought.

“Earth to Louis, Louis come in.” He turned and was surprised to see that Zayn had sat down beside him and was half way through his lunch.

“Hey, how long have you been there?” Louis asked as he snaked a hand out to pinch a chip from his friend’s plate.

“Long enough to think you’d been sucked away by aliens.”

“You watch way too many movies,” Louis told him with disgust. Zayn shrugged, a broad grin across his face.

“So what were you thinking about? Must have been good to get you so glass eyed.”

“Nothing, just that Harry kid, hoping it’s not that guy over there to be honest.” The pair looked in the punk’s direction only to receive a creepy smile in return. Zayn laughed loudly while Louis quietly gagged into his mouth.

“Don’t worry it’s not, I don’t think you’ll mind..”

“Alright lads? What’re you talking about?” their friend Niall slid his tray in front of them, piled high with almost everything that was on offer, Louis really didn’t know where the boy got enough money to eat the way he did.

“Operation revenge,” Zayn answered around a mouthful of burger. Louis stole another chip and popped it into his mouth before commenting.

“That’s a shitty name mate.”

“Yeah it’s kind of obvious.” Niall added, his thick Irish accent spinning the words together like silk.

“Operation Styles?” Louis laughed, no wonder he was failing film if these were the crappy ideas he had.

“Yeah that’s definitely less obvious Z, really?” He rolled his eyes at his friend and grabbed another chip, only to have his hand slapped away.

“Operation seduction?” Zayn’s tone was wearing and he pinched at his nose. Louis and Niall could both recognise it as a sign of annoyance and decided to let their silence speak for itself. It really was a hugely cheesy name.

Niall broke the silence in the end. “How about operation BSC?”

“Big Styles Crush?” Louis guessed, eyebrows furrowed. It was quite a cute look on him and someone in the shared canteen memorised it before locking it away to draw on later.

“Bang Styles Copiously.” Zayn was rewarded with a loud laugh and an enthusiastic hi-five from Louis, but only an unimpressed stare from Niall.

“Best Served Cold – you know like the saying,” blank stares ensued and it was obvious which of them was an English mayor and ok yes Louis took English Literature but only because he was required too and not because he had any kind of interest in anything but acting. “Revenge is a dish best served cold?”

“It’s less conspicuous at least,” Zayn nodded his agreement.

“I still prefer the banging one mate.”

The small group fell into a companionable silence, unknowingly all thinking about Operation BSC and how it was going to turn out. One thought for sure it was an easy win, there was no way that it wouldn’t all go to plan, Louis was a good looking guy – failure was impossible. Another realised that he was completely in over his head and like the flip of a coin was sequentially glad he had joined up, followed quickly by wishing he never had. The last was wondering whether his friend would manage to come out of this unscathed. The whole operation went against everything the older lad believed in and unlike the others he was only 49% sure of its success.

“Hey Lou,” Zayn caught Louis’ attention before flicking his head to the left, gesturing to a set of tables pressed up against the large glass wall. “Meet Harry.”

Louis slowly, tentatively, moved his gaze in the pointed direction and he would swear that his heart actually stopped, for at least 3 beats. Across the room was a dark mop of styled brown waves and sparkling green eyes that made his breath catch in his throat. How he had not noticed him around the campus before he wasn’t sure, as this guy was pure un-adulterated sex on a stick, every last inch of his tall, toned frame. He swallowed thickly and could only come to one conclusion; Harry Styles might just be the metaphorical death of him and suddenly operation BSC didn’t seem like such a great idea.

He quickly reminded himself of the reason they were doing this in the first place and although it didn’t take away from the prettiness that was Harry Styles, it did centre his focus. He had his mark; he now had to figure out how he was going to get himself on the younger lad’s radar.

“So,” he coughed, a vain attempt to clear the lump that had formed in his throat, “what can you tell me about him?”

“He’s a freshman,” Zayn shrugged.

“His name’s Harry,” Niall added, causing Louis to release a frustrated groan and throw his hands dramatically in the air.

“No shit!” he rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath. “Anything I don’t already know?” 

His two friends thought for a moment before Zayn nodded, took a sip of his drink and then spoke up. “I think he likes karaoke; Mel said Rachel met him during karaoke at the student union.”

A singer, that’s good. It’s not like Louis has a weakness for a good voice. Except that he most positively, absolutely does.

“Ok I guess I can work with that.” He hadn’t convinced anyone as his tone gave his insecurities away.

As the day passed Louis was a ball of nervous energy, even more so than usual. Everywhere he went he was on the lookout for soft brown curls and bright green eyes. He had no real plan for what he would do when he did find them but that didn’t stop him looking. Remember Rachel, remember Rachel, he repeated on a loop. As long as he kept a hold on that mantra he would be fine. He wouldn’t be taken in by smooth skin and long limbs. He wouldn’t.

It wasn’t until after his last class that he did actually spot him. He was standing at the lockers with the friend he had sat with during lunch, completely oblivious to the effect he was having on Louis’ heart rate. It wasn’t until Louis was walking in his direction that he realised he had formulated an idea. Kind of.

With a deep breath Louis put his plan into action and pulled his phone out of his pocket and pretended he was texting as he walked. It only took a few seconds for him to reach his designated target and with a last deep breath, he careened into the younger lad with a yelp.

“Oh man! I’m so sorry!” He looked up guiltily and definitely did not stutter when he came eye to eye with the intense stare of one Harry Styles.

“It’s fine,” Harry muttered and the deepness of his voice shot straight down into Louis’ stomach to pool restlessly. He was not expecting that voice, not at all. He was definitely in trouble.

“Um, Harry right?” he found himself asking, ignoring the blush that grew on his cheeks. This was not part of the plan and his brain was screaming, abort! abort!

“Yeah, how did you know that?”

“Oh... I, I saw you do karaoke at the SU bar once. I think.” Shut up. Just shut up and walk away. Louis was becoming increasingly embarrassed. This was so far from the suave first meeting he had wanted that he wished he could take it all back. He knew better than to get involved with one of Zayn’s ideas. Why hadn’t he just said no? How was he going to get out of this mess with his dignity intact?

“I haven’t sung at the SU bar, so must have been a different me.” Harry shifted his gaze uncomfortably, no doubt wondering who his creepy stalker was. Louis’ face flushed and he gave up all hope. Fucking Zayn and his shit information. What a twat.

“My mistake then. Sorry again.” And before any more could be said he walked off as quickly as he could without looking suspicious. He could vaguely hear laughing behind him and he wanted nothing more than to kick his best-friend in the balls.

“Lou, oh god Lou, that was, that was just classic mate!” dread coiled in his chest when he realised that his aforementioned best-friend had slung an arm over his shoulder and had apparently witnessed the whole thing.

“Shut up!” Louis ground through his teeth. He needed a drink, as stiff as it got, and then at least another five after. The humiliation replayed in his head and it wasn’t until he pushed through the large oak doors that he could breathe.

He disentangled himself from Zayn’s grasp and punched him as hard as he could in his shoulder. “You made me look like a right fucking twat!” Zayn groaned and clutched as his shoulder as he laughed some more.

“I think you did that all by yourself Lou,”

“Shut up! I need a drink and you’re buying.” Louis started his walk to the student bar and took it for granted that his friend was following. He was.

“Next time, you have to let me know if you have something planned. I managed to get a little of that on my phone but I really need better quality.”

“Shut up!”

“So what’s next Casanova?”

“Shut the fuck up Z!” Louis threw the words over his shoulder and ignored his friends following laugh. Totally not thinking about Harry Styles and his deep, green eyes and sex line voice. Not at all.

 

~3~

 

Louis spent the next two days avoiding anything a light green and anyone with curly hair. He was beyond mortified that he had turned into a stuttering idiot in front of Harry and had no idea how he was going to come back from that. How did one redeem themselves from such an embarrassing situation?

Zayn was no help. Not one bit. Instead he pestered Louis to make another move, moaning about time constraints and the cost of the hidden cameras that he wanted to use. Also his ideas were bloody crap. There was no way that Louis was going to write Harry a note and slide it into his locker, nor was he going to buy the kid flowers and ask to walk him to his next class. Really how many chick flicks had his friend watched? And clearly not the good ones.

Niall attempted to help but he wasn’t good in any kind of romantic setting. Louis had never seen a guy knocked back by so many girls, and that was with his Irish charm on his side. So it was really just down to him and what he was going to do to catch Harry’s attention and make himself look cool, make him seem worth knowing. On the plus side ‘the event’, as he names it in his head, at least put him on the map. If nothing else Harry now knew he existed. He just had to find a way to turn that to his advantage and that was proving to be the tricky part.

He contemplated his options as he slid his lunch tray along the cold metal surface. Apart from putting notes in his locker and buying him flowers he really had nothing. He was pathetic and quite obviously the wrong guy for Zayn to have chosen to seduce Harry – he had already cocked it up in only one move.

Louis was in the process of picking up a sausage roll when he felt a small tap on his shoulder.

“Harry?” it was definitely him, standing behind Louis with a small smile on his face and his hand outstretched. His eyes were the exact colour Louis remembered and his hair just as quaffed.

“I found your wallet on the floor, well I didn’t know it was your wallet, I looked in it to see who's it was.” Louis couldn’t help but think that there was some divine intervention involved, because he was one hundred per cent sure that when he left the table his wallet was tucked nicely into his back pocket. But he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, he was given a second chance and he wouldn’t waste it.

“Thanks.” He threw his best smile at the younger lad and made sure to brush their fingers together as he took the leather square from his hand. He ignored the tingling heat that spread throughout his arm from Harry’s touch. “Listen, I just want to say sorry for the other day. That was all a bit bloody weird.”

Harry laughed, tipping his head back slightly as he did so, and lifted his empty hand to drag it through his hair. Louis didn’t watch it full of temptation. He most definitely didn’t want to do it too.

“That’s alright, just a misunderstanding yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis smiled, completely unable to believe that this was happening. He took a deep breath and refused to act like the fourteen year old school girl that was currently jumping around inside him. “I’m Louis.”

“I know.” Harry smiled and he forgot to breathe. Dimples. The kid had fucking dimples that Louis immediately wanted to fill with whipped cream and lick out. He bit his lip, using the sharp pain to regain his focus and then realised that Harry knew his name. He knew his name!

“You do?”

“Your wallet.” Oh. He ignored the disappointment. Of course he wouldn’t have asked around after him, that was only something that Louis would do in a sad attempt to seduce some boy on his course for justice.

“Right. Thanks.”

“Not a problem. See you around Louis.” Another bought of guilt crept us his throat. The kid seemed nice and Louis was trying to screw him over for a friend of a friend and an easy A. Still by all accounts Harry had been a jerk. He deserved it. Louis just had to remind himself of that. Regularly.

“Oi, mate, are you gonna move up or what?” the irritated voice dragged him back to the fact that he was now holding up the lunch line. He quickly grabbed for the discarded sausage roll and made his way to the cashier.

When he got to the table Niall and Zayn were already sat, laughing loudly. He knew automatically that his exchange with Harry hadn’t gone unnoticed and braced himself for the fallout.

“You have a crush!” Niall grinned and nudged Zayn with his shoulder, making his friend nod along with him.

“You do mate. You think he’s sexy.”

“Shut up!” Louis dropped his tray down with a clash and ducked his head to ignore their comments.

“It’s the hair right? I knew you’d like the hair. Remember your Nick Jonas phase? Oh man you were mortified when he cut it!”

“Shut up alright! Yes he’s cute but I’m not stupid enough to get caught up in a crush on a guy like that. Let’s just get back on track for what we need to do and shut up about his god – damn hair!”

The table stayed silent, the two boys slightly shocked at their friend’s unlikely outburst. Zayn couldn’t help but think that maybe he had made the wrong decision by bringing Louis on board. The guy was too good for his own good and maybe this wouldn’t end as well as he’d hoped.

“Listen Lou, it’s fine yeah, but maybe we should think about attaching a camera to you all the time as these things seem to just keep happening.” The atmosphere lessened with the subject change and Louis was grateful.

“Yeah sounds good.” He nodded and concentrated on eating his lunch and not thinking about Harry.

“Come to mine tonight. We can get the cameras set up and discuss your next move.”

“Got it.” Zayn sighed at Louis’ lack of enthusiasm.

“Lou,”

“I said I’ve got it. I’ll be there ready and willing to make a fool of myself ok. You’re A is safe.” Even as he said the words he knew Zayn didn’t deserve them. He made a pact with himself to separate his instantaneous like of Harry from the job he had to do. He was a drama student for Christ’s sake, if anyone could act the part it was him. It wasn’t worth upsetting his friends over.

The three ate in a sober mood, none sure what to say without causing friction. Niall attempted to break the silence only once, to point out that Harry kept sneaking glances over at Louis from their table by the window. What he thought would make his older friend smile actually seemed to darken his mood and they all sighed with relief when the time came for them to go to their next classes.

As he watched his classmate perform a scene from Glee (for no other reason than the teacher was running late) he started to talk himself out of his funk. He was being a bit ridiculous if he were honest with himself, he had known Harry for only a couple of days and really didn’t know him at all. Yes he found him extremely attractive but he couldn’t let that get to him. Harry was just a pretty boy, a pretty boy that had broken a girls heart in a very cruel way. He feels sick when he lets himself think about it happening to one of his sisters so he needed to stay focused. He had to make this a game; it wasn’t about him wanting Harry it was about Harry wanting him. He had to start planning and stop thinking about anyone’s feelings other than Rachel’s.

After a class of classical improv, he had a text message from Zayn informing him of a party that was happening that night and that Harry would be there. After grumbling that it was a Thursday and nobody cool had a party on a Thursday, he agreed to go. It was time to put his new resolve to the test.

He spent extra time choosing his outfit and in the end decided on his signature red trousers, tight striped shirt and suspenders. He had been complimented on his ankles once, so made sure to keep them bare. He was glad he put in the effort when Zayn gave him an approving look as he slid into the old beat-up Mustang.

“You look good Lou,” he nodded.

“I’m all dressed up and ready to seduce,” Louis winked and Zayn released a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Gone was the Louis from lunch and in his place was the friend he remembered.

“Here clip this on.” Louis caught the badge thrown towards him and rolled his eyes at the rainbow that adorned the front. There were some wires poking out of the back but otherwise the tiny camera couldn’t be seen. He wouldn’t admit it but he was impressed, he hadn’t released the university had so many resources. It was a little worrying.

“Well if that doesn’t scream gay I don’t know what will.”

“You know I’m not actually gay right?”

“You like the occasional cock and that’s the only message you need to worry about giving out tonight.”

“Nice, thank you for the pep-talk!” Louis’ laughter filled the car and before either of them found any more to say they had arrived at the next neighbourhood over. The party was obvious, cars littered the curb and distorted bass filled thumps occupied the air. They followed it to a house neither of them recognised and Louis couldn’t help but hope that turning up there wasn’t going to affect his social standing.

He spotted Harry as soon as he walked through the door; the nudge Zayn pushed into his side was a second too late. The younger lad was nursing a beer while talking to his friend. He looked good in dark skinny jeans and a navy blazer, but Louis pushed the thought away and it surprising went without a fight. Taking a deep breath he squared his shoulders and started to walk in Harry’s direction. He knew the instant that the object of his ruse was looking his way and deliberately ignored the emerald eyes and walked passed without so much of a twitch in acknowledgment. Luckily by doing so he ended up in the kitchen, Zayn hot on his heels, surrounded by bottles calling out to him.

He was three beers down, with three new friends, before he felt the buzz of the alcohol warm him from the inside out. Grabbing Zayn’s hand he made his excuses and lead them through the hallway and into the living room where Harry was now standing in the corner talking to a pretty blonde girl. Anger bubbled in the back of his head, was she his next victim?

“Let’s dance!” Louis shouted over the music. He left Zayn no room to answer before pulling him into the middle of the room amongst a barrage of bodies, and in Harry’s direct line of sight.

“Why are we dancing?” Zayn shouted in his ear, clearly uncomfortable with having to move his feet in any kind of rhythmic steps.

“Because it will get his attention.” Louis grinned mischievously and spun Zayn under his arm before pulling him flush against his body. He took a moment to scan the room nonchalantly and was pleased to see green eyes looking at him with interest. He dipped his hips and was rewarded with a stunned yelp from a defenceless Zayn. Grinning he wrapped his arms around his friends awkward shoulders and leaned in closely to whisper in his ear, only just loud enough for him to hear.

“Kiss me.”

 

~4~

 

“What?!” Zayn’s dark eyes opened widely in disbelief; it was obvious to Louis that his friend didn’t want to be kissed, the frantic shaking of his head being a second clue, and really it wasn’t on Louis’ top ten list of things to do either. However, he needed this, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for the greater good of the plan and you would have thought that with an A on the line Zayn would want to make the sacrifice too. 

“Come on Z, it will get Harry’s attention!” Louis whined into his friend’s ear as he swayed his hips closer. From the corner of his eye he could see Harry watching their exchange and knew that he had to take it just one little bit further. If he kissed Zayn while Harry watched it would show undoubtedly that Louis liked boys, and maybe even make Harry wonder what it would be like to kiss Louis himself. It was all about planting the seed. Now he just had to get Zayn on board.

“I don’t care! I’m not kissing you mate!”

“Please, Zayn! This is for your A remember, it’s not like I’ll be getting anything out of it - you can feel safe in the knowledge that I don’t have some crazy arsed crush on you. Your virginity is safe!” Louis laughed as Zayn grumbled and shook his head. Then in a move his friend never saw coming Louis tilted his head back slightly before darting forward and crushing his lips against his best-friend's.

It wasn’t good. It was so far from good that Louis made a mental note to try and forget it ever happened. It was awkward and over thought and really fucking weird for both of them, but Louis could feel Harry’s eyes watching him and he just had to drag it out a little longer. Long enough for Harry to know it wasn’t a drunken joke but not long enough to make Zayn hit him any harder than he was surely already planning. 

Louis pulled away with a grin and smacked his friends arse harshly before leaving him standing in the middle of the dance floor with a disgruntled frown on his sharp features.

He headed for the kitchen and when he caught a glimpse of Harry’s frustrated stare he knew his plan had worked. Now he just had to wait for the young lad to come to him.

He grabbed a beer on his way through the kitchen and pushed his way through to the back garden. There were a few people he didn’t recognise milling about, mostly smoking, so he walked to the far side to an old worn metal bench and let the night air cool his sweaty skin.

He knew that he would be in trouble the next time he caught up to Zayn but he was sure he could convince him that it was all for the greater good. This he was sure of when he saw Harry step out of the double doors and look around the garden. The kid had balls, Louis would give him that - he was blatantly looking for Louis and didn’t care about how obvious he was being. Of course it could be the alcohol, there was no way of knowing how much he had drunk.

Harry stumbled slightly as he made his way silently over to the bench. He took a seat next to Louis and let the silence encompass them for a few minutes before speaking.

“Louis, right?” He tried to play it nonchalantly but Louis knew that the boy remembered him just fine. He was also pleased to notice that his own emotions were in check; for the first time since meeting Harry he felt in control. He might actually be able to pull this off. All he had to do was remind himself that Harry wasn’t what he seemed, he may be charming and have a disarming smile but that didn’t change what he had done. Some poor sixteen year old girl was heartbroken because of him and that was all Louis needed to keep his attraction in check.

“Right,” Louis nodded and deliberately said nothing else, he had to find out how interested Harry was, how far he was going to go.

“So you know John?”

“Which John are we talking about specifically?” the older boy cocked an eyebrow.

“The one that threw this party.”

“Oh, then no.”

Silence filled the night and Louis willed himself to keep his eyes ahead, to not look at the curly haired kid beside him. This was good, they were talking and Harry had initiated it. Which could have something to do with the slight smell of alcohol on his breath or the slight glaze dancing across his bright eyes. 

“Is that guy your boyfriend?” Harry asked, the question coming out in a smooth puff of air.

“What guy?” He turned his head briefly to look at the younger boy and saw something flicker in his green eyes, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Louis swigged at the bottle, held tightly in his hand, before boldly offering it to Harry, who accepted. He was not hypnotised by the way Harry’s redred lips pursed around the tip or the way his throat constricted as he swallowed. Definitely not. He was in control. He was. Or at least he would be as long as he reminded himself of what a prick Harry was.

“Eh the guy you were grinding on? The one you kissed.” Harry’s voice shook with nerves as he looked away and for a brief second Louis wondered if this was really the guy that ruthlessly broke a young girl’s heart. Just talking to Louis he was fine, confident even, but bringing up the idea of Louis kissing Zayn and possibly liking boys seemed to have him shaken and nervous. Maybe the younger boy hadn’t drank as much as Louis first thought, it seemed more likely that he had merely partook in a little dutch courage.

“No,” Louis found himself saying softly as he reached for the proffered bottle, “he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh.”

It had all suddenly taken a turn that Louis hadn’t anticipated. Things felt softer between them, delicate. Louis’ confidence was waning and he didn’t know what to make of the way Harry was looking at him. The emotion hiding in his wide green orbs, something that Louis couldn’t quite place but left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. This was what they wanted, Harry liking him, but he wasn’t expecting how it would feel to be on the receiving end of his interested stare. He was torn between giving in to the guilt that crept along his conscience or being the ruthless seductress he had signed up to be.

It was all too much. Too confusing. Harry was supposed to have down this horrible, completely immoral thing, but the boy sitting beside him, all innocent eyes and smooth skin, just didn’t seem capable. Louis had never been so confused. This wasn’t a cold-hearted boy, he was clearly nervous about discussing matters of sexuality. Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding… or maybe it wasn’t and Harry was just an extremely good actor. Louis wasn’t sure exactly who was being played here.

“So are you…” Harry cleared his throat and reached out quickly to grab the beer from Louis’ hands before gulping it down. He took a deep breath, ”gay?”

“No.”

“Oh! Sorry! I just assumed you know, because you were kissing him that you were…”

“Hey, Harry relax,” Louis laughed, breaking some of the tension that filled their garden spot “I’m not gay - because I like boys and I like girls,”

Harry breathed deeply before placing the now empty bottle down on the ground, “so you’re bi then?”

“If you want to label it, which I don’t usually… Yeah.” They smiled at each other and Louis cleared his throat breaking the almost touchable air between them. He had to get this back on track.“What about you Harry? Are you gay?”

The younger boy started to cough as his cheeks darkened. “I think so, yeah.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah cool.”

The boys fell away into their own thoughts, content with just sitting together, thinking, until the clanging of the door broke their reverie to reveal Zayn pointedly looking in their direction.

“That’s my cue to leave,” Louis stood from the seat, rubbing his hands on his trousers as he did so, “see you around Harry.”

Harry’s name hung in the air as Louis turned to leave.

“Wait!” Louis stopped to find the other boy behind him, “would you maybe, erm, would you like my number?”

To Louis the moment was bittersweet. A ridiculously gorgeous guy was offering his number and butterflies were fluttering madly in his gut whilst his brain was insisting that he shouldn’t be feeling anything but hatred toward the younger boy. Louis had to fight the urge to throw up - which of course he blamed on his less than usual alcohol intake and not his mess of emotions. This kid was killing him, slowly and painfully and beautifully. Fucking Zayn and his bright fucking ideas. Why couldn’t he have met Harry at the student union or in class? Why did it have to be like this? Why did he have to be stuck in such an impossible situation where he had to ignore his attraction for Harry?

Louis handed over his phone without reply and watched as Harry sheepishly programmed in his number. When he handed it back the elder of them grinned, promised to call and walked away, more confused than ever.

*^*^*

“I can’t believe you did that! You’re such an arsehole! I feel completely violated!” Zayn had been complaining the whole ride back and had predictably punched Louis in the arm as soon as he was close enough.

“Are you sure Harry did that to Rachel?” Zayn froze for a second at Louis’ out of context question.

“Pretty sure Lou, why?”

“He just doesn’t really seem the type,” Louis sighed, which wasn’t that unusual after drinking as he did tend to get quite melancholy, but still his tone of voice had Zayn worried.

“Are you sweet on him Louis?” Jesus who says “sweet on” nowadays, Louis thought. He teased Zayn on occasion about being an old soul, but bloody hell. 

“What? No! I just, I spoke to him a bit tonight and he doesn’t seem like the ruthless heartbreaker everyone says he is.”

“So you think Rachel lied?” There was no accusation in the darker boy’s voice but he was surprised.

“No…yes… I don’t know.” Zayn parked outside Louis’ house and turned to look at him, “I don’t think she lied but maybe she misunderstood the situation.” Louis shrugged, that was the best he could come up with.

“Maybe.” He paused, “if you want out Lou just say, I could work out something else. Find someone else to do it…”

Louis sighed. 

With a quick goodnight he left the car and negotiated his way to his bedroom as quickly as possible. Did he want out? He could tell Zayn he couldn’t do it and then chase Harry with nothing between them – completely ignore the reason that Louis had bumped into him in the first place. Zayn could still get an A and he wouldn’t really be letting anyone down.

But he knew that that wouldn’t be the end of it. If he said no, Zayn would just find somebody else to go after Harry and the mere thought of it made his stomach churn.

He couldn’t stand back and watch somebody else seduce the curly kid, couldn’t watch Harry look up at anybody else with those big green nervous eyes. That stare was his and he was going to keep it. Even if that meant carrying on with Zayn’s plan and finding out whether Harry had done what Zayn said he had.

With a groan he reached for his phone and scrolled through until he found Harry’s name. He told himself that he was just going to text him so that the boy had his number; it wasn’t because he wanted a text back. It wasn’t because he couldn’t shake the image of him out of his mind.

Goodnight, I think I’m gay Harry Louis texted, pressing send quickly before he could over analyse what he had written. If it was that bad he could blame it on the liquor tomorrow. To his surprise and excitement, he received a reply within seconds.

Goodnight, he who shall not be labelled but is probably bi .x 

 

~5~

 

Louis had no classes on Friday. Okay, well he did have one but he never went to it, and he was glad that he had a few days to sort things out in his head before he had to face Harry in the campus halls. He was willing to admit that nothing had gone as planned; he definitely wasn’t supposed to be attracted to the younger boy. He had to keep reminding himself that it was just simple attraction, nothing more, because other than a semi-intoxicated conversation, he knew nothing about the kid other than the fact that he had broken Michelle’s sister’s heart. 

Attraction he could beat. He just had to find something to put him off. Yes, he realised that Harry’s heart-breaking past should have been enough but clearly it wasn’t, so he had to find something else. Maybe he’d catch Harry picking his nose or kicking kittens; either of those would work. Until then he’d just repress his attraction and concentrate on getting Harry to fall for him.

Which is why he was waiting for Zayn to turn up. They had agreed to meet after Zayn’s morning class and strategize some small semblance of a plan. He figured a plan would at least keep him in check- remind him of what he had to do and why. Zayn had also said something about doing an interview and he found out about twenty minutes later what his friend had meant by that. 

“Ok,” Zayn busied himself with the camera tripod as he spoke, “I’m just going to ask you some questions and then use them to narrate the film, give the audience an insight into things from your point of view.”

“Got it!” they were sitting in Louis’ bedroom, the young man siting crossed legged on his bed as he waited for his friend to set up, “how do you want me to be? What shall I say?”

“Just be honest Lou, look into the camera and say what you feel.” He made it sound so easy when actually honesty was one of the hardest things to give in to. 

Louis rolled his eyes. He’d never seen his friend so serious; he could definitely imagine begging to be in one of Zayn’s films one day - this was just the start of it all for him, he had the drive and the talent to make it big.

The darker boy lined up the lens to frame Louis, whose array of large posters made the perfect background, and he sat behind the camera with a pad of questions on his lap.

“Right, tell us about yourself Lou,”

“Um, ok, so I’m Louis Tomlinson, I’m twenty years old and I’m in my second year studying drama at Doncaster university.” Louis groaned “Ok can we stop? this sounds like a dating ad!”

Zayn laughed and motioned with his hand for Louis to start again. He shuffled in his seat and took a deep breath.

“Hello! I’m Lou Tomlinson I’m twenty and I like romantic walks on the beach!” The pair laughed and Louis thrust out his tongue before shaking his body in an attempt to loosen up. “Right, ok, let’s try this again. I’m Louis Tomlinson, I’m twenty years old and I study drama at Doncaster uni so you’ve probably seen me around. I like to party, I like girls and I like boys - which is what got me into this slightly weird situation in the first place.”

Louis paused and looked at his friend expectantly. Zayn gave him a reassuring thumbs up and asked his next question.

“What situation are you referring to?” he sounded so professional that Louis couldn’t help but grin. How was he supposed to be serious when Zayn was being so… serious?

“In my own words?” He questioned and Zayn nodded in answer. “Um there’s this guy, Harry, and he made this younger girl fall in love with him and then he dumped her by saying he was gay. So we’re going to do the same to him, or try to anyway.”

“What do you think about what Harry did?”

“I think it’s disgusting! I have 4 younger sisters and I know that if some guy did that to them I’d kill him.” His eyes flashed with anger that punctuated his words with threat.

“Do you think what we’re doing is fair?” Zayn asked curiously. Louis grimaced and bit at his lip, thinking about the best way to answer. If Harry had done what he was accused of then yes, 100% yes. If he didn’t, which Louis would honestly rather believe, then what they were doing was beyond cruel. Still, he had agreed to go along with this whole thing because they did believe it, so there was really only one way to answer the question.

“Yes.” The word felt heavy on his tongue but he shook it off and smiled at the camera widely.

“What were your first thoughts of Harry when you saw him?”

Louis laughed, “He's kind of hot - like scary hot and that just kind of hit me in the chest, you know? And I remember thinking that maybe this task wasn’t going to be so bad after all. Then I remembered what it was he had done so…”

He trailed off, almost certain that he had said too much. Zayn had told him to be honest, but maybe he should have censored his thoughts on Harry more, especially taking into account the indescribable way that Zayn was looking at him. He coughed and crossed his eyes to pull a funny face, his go-to method for breaking uneasy tension.

“Ok, let’s just do one more,” Zayn looked down at his notepad and scanned the page before looking back up, “what’s going to happen now? What’s your plan?”

Louis shrugged, “I don’t really –“ his answer was interrupted by the beep of his mobile, which he dug out of his pocket and swiped his finger across to light up the screen. When he read the message his lips subconsciously turned up at the edges and he tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped.

“What you got there Lou?” Zayn asked, pleased that he was capturing the reaction on film.

“A text,”

“Who’s it from?” He pressed and Louis sighed, shoulders sagging.

“Really Z is nothing private anymore?”

“If it’s from Harry then no, I need to get it all Lou you know that.”

“Fine!” Louis shuffled in his seat and pushed his iPhone into the camera so that the message could be seen.

Friendly warning: do not eat the mystery stew .x

Zayn laughed. “Hardly romantic, you might have to work harder than you thought!”

Louis pulled his phone back and ignored his friend’s laughter. Harry had texted him, not the other way around. As far as he could see, he was right on track.

While Zayn played with the camera and started to dismantle his set up, Louis took the chance to reply. 

Thanks for the warning but I’m safe as I have no classes on Fridays he pressed send and briefly wondered if he had replied too quickly. Should he have kept him waiting? He figured his timely response was okay when Harry replied instantly.

Lucky! I have classes all day with just a small break to eat suspicious horse meat stew .x

Louis started to laugh and then stopped himself, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t be charmed by a simple text.

I’m sorry I wasn’t there to give you a friendly warning of my own

You’ll have to make it up to me .x

How am I supposed to do that?

I’ll leave that up to you ;) class calls .x 

Cheeky fucker. Where was the nervous guy from the party? Louis grinned, he didn’t have to work hard to get the younger boy interested, but getting Harry to fall in love with him might prove to be more difficult. How the hell do you make someone fall in love with you? He really had nothing to draw on. He hadn’t been in love before and as far as he knew nobody had been in love with him. How would he know if it had worked?

“Hey Z!” He shouted for his friend who was only on the other side of the room zipping up his equipment bag. They hadn’t finished the last question and Louis was glad, he had had no idea what he was going to say! “Come look at this!”

“Jesus Lou I’m right here!” Zayn shook his head before joining his friend on the bed and stared at the outstretched phone. He looked over the messages quickly - a smirk gracing his lips. “Nice work! And in just one night!”

“Yeah it’s great but what do I do now?” Louis threw his hands up and let the phone slip onto the mattress with a bounce. “Should I ask him out? Like seduce him with a romantic meal or go to the fair?” 

“We don’t have a fair in town,” Zayn laughed “just calm down mate, you’re thinking too much - just ask him to hang out.”

“Hang out? Who says hang out anymore?” Louis scrunched up his face as he attempted to re-direct the conversation. He needed time to think without his best friend badgering him. 

“Shut up Lou, you know what I mean! Just ask him over here. Watch a movie, have a beer, woo him.”

“Zayn I’m seriously starting to worry about what era you’re from, are you like on a mission from the 50’s? Am I doing all this to Harry to save the future of mankind?” Louis gasped and widened his eyes in mock surprise which earned him a shove from Zayn that sent him sprawling back on top of the covers. They laughed for a moment before the original question settled in.

“So I ask him over?” Louis checked.

“Yep.” Zayn nodded.

“For a beer and a movie?” Louis quirked an eyebrow.

“Yep.” Zayn nodded again, a smile playing on his lips.

“And then what?”

“For god sakes Lou! this isn’t the first time you’ve dated someone! You know what to do!” Zayn groaned and flopped back to lay beside him.

Right. He did. He had dated before, just never anyone as good looking as Harry and never with as much at stake. There was so much pressure to make the younger boy fall for him and if he did one thing wrong it was over. There’d be no justice and there’d be no A. He sighed deeply and nodded his head with new resolve.

“Ok. I’ll text him tonight; maybe he can come over tomorrow.”

“Good!” Louis nudged an elbow into his friend’s side and changed the subject to the new horror movie playing at the Apex. They spent the afternoon deciding whether or not they wanted to see it and whether or not they wanted to invite Niall (who was a notorious screamer).

He called Harry before he went to bed and invited him over the next night – all within the pretext of owing him one of course – which Harry accepted. They may or may not have then started talking and they may or may not have only cancelled the call almost two hours later. When Louis went to bed feeling satisfied, he pretended he didn’t know why.

 

~6~

 

Louis spent the first part of his day with his sisters. He took them to the park and bought them ice-cream and it was nice. Pleasant. Familiar. It stopped him thinking about Harry coming over and it stopped his mind from running through the possibilities for the night on a constant loop.

The latter part of the day had Zayn and Niall over watching a movie while Louis busied himself with tidying his room and spending longer than usual getting ready. He took extra care with his hair, making sure it fell just right across his forehead, but settled on a pair of skinny jeans and a fitted black t-shirt without shoes and socks; he didn’t particularly want Harry to know he had put in as much effort as he actually had.

He didn’t have to wear the camera badge because Zayn had placed three hidden cameras around the room. He’d set up while Louis was in the shower so the older boy had no idea where they actually were. Zayn swore this would make the whole thing more realistic but an uneasiness rested on Louis’ shoulders. The feeling of being a fish in a glass bowl was overwhelming.

He’d told his mum that he had a friend coming over and the blush on his cheeks had told her just what kind of friend that was, so she agreed to take the girls out for the evening and get them to behave when they came home. There were times when Louis wished he had accepted housing on campus, cost be damned.

Harry was due any minute so Louis grabbed the six-pack he had hidden at the back of the fridge, untethered two and set them on the side. He’d toyed with the idea of taking all six upstairs, but keeping them in the kitchen would give him an excuse to step away if he needed to.

When the doorbell rang he ignored the increased thumping of his heart and opened the door with a grin.

“Welcome gay Harry!”

“You realise that’s not my name right?” The younger boy answered, rolling his eyes as he stepped over the threshold. Although his words were bold the blush on his cheeks showed he was feeling at least some of the nerves Louis himself was fighting down.

“Really? Why didn’t you say so?” They stopped for a moment, smiling wistfully at each other, before Louis cleared his throat, needing to break the spell and bring them back to the hallway of his family’s home. 

“Beer?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Harry looked down at the floor quickly before thrusting out his hand, holding out a carrier bag that Louis hadn’t realised he’d had. With an arched eyebrow he took it as Harry explained. “You said a movie right? And my mum always says never to visit without a gift so…” 

In the bag, as Louis found out when he peered inside, was an assortment of snacks. 

“I didn’t know what you liked so I just got a bit of everything.” Harry shrugged and Louis squeezed his shoulder with his empty hand.

“Well, I’m in luck because I like them all!” With a deep, calming breath he turned on his heel and led them through to the kitchen where the bottles were waiting on the table. “Do you want a glass or…?”

“Bottle’s fine.”

Louis opened them quickly and handed one to Harry as he soaked in the boy’s appearance. His dark denim jeans hung tightly to his long legs with the waistband clinging to his hips. He wore a simple white t-shirt that hinted softly at the lean stomach beneath it and showed his tan, toned arms. Louis swallowed and fought down his attraction once again.

“Let’s go up,” he nodded towards the stairs and Harry smiled before toeing off his shoes and kicking them to sit beside the front door. Louis noted the boy’s good manners and held back his grin. There was something so charming about Harry, something gentlemanly, something you just didn’t see in boys his age anymore. Hell even Zayn and Niall trudged through his house wearing their shoes, regardless of whether they were dirty or not. Still, it would do him no good thinking like that about the younger boy, especially after what he had done, so he pushed the thought aside.

They made their way to his room in a slightly awkward silence, which Louis supposed was only to be expected as they hadn’t spoken much outside of texts and alcohol. Plus of course there was a chance this could be construed as their first date. He gulped at the idea, this was supposed to be the first of many - he had to get it right. No pressure - except for that crushingly obvious weight that sat right on his shoulders.

“So this is me…” Louis motioned with his hand for Harry to cross the threshold and then watched as the younger man looked around.

“You like White Cream? I thought I was the only one around here that had heard of them!”

“Yeah, I actually went to their gig last month! They were bloody brilliant!” Harry’s mouth dropped open slightly and it was probably one of the most adorable fucking things Louis had ever seen. He swigged at his beer and squelched the thought as he swallowed.

“What?” Louis asked curiously, trying to regain his focus on the conversation and not the boy staring at him incredulously. 

“I saw that too! It was amazing; I don’t remember seeing you there though.”

Louis laughed. “Well you didn’t know me then, mate, so that’s not surprising.”

“Still, I think I would have remembered seeing you!” Harry blushed and bit at his lip as  
the room lapsed into silence.

The realisation that this moment was being recorded somewhere in the room came crashing down on Louis and it was the kick he needed to get himself in check. He couldn’t be sucked in by good manners and quiet flirting.

“So make yourself comfortable..” Louis motioned to the bed - the only seating available - and waited for Harry to clamber on before following suit. He made sure to leave a respectable space between them and threw the bag of snacks into the void. “We have a choice of three for tonight…”

Harry held his bottle between his knees as he took the offered DVD’s from the older boy. He smiled slowly and waved one of the cases in the air. “Really? Latter Days?”

“What?!” Louis grinned innocently “I merely thought to myself ‘what would gay Harry want to watch?’ and this just screamed out at me!” 

Harry barked out a laugh and spun the case around in his hands. “Is it any good?”

“It’s about a gay Mormon! Of course it is,” although Louis didn’t actually want to watch it. The idea of watching a boy with good intentions find himself in an impossible attraction to someone he shouldn’t, hit just a little too close to home. 

Luckily Harry threw it back onto the bed and held out ‘The Hangover’ instead. “Ahh a classic!”

Louis made quick work of putting the DVD into the player and flipped the light switch as he jumped onto the bed and got as comfortable as possible.

A light tension bathed the bedroom. It wasn’t that it was completely strained, it was more just awkward around the edges, because things had happened a bit too fast if you thought about it logically. One moment Louis found out about Harry and the next the kid was in his bedroom looking totally edible with only a few brief conversations in between.

Louis didn’t know what angle he was supposed to be working from. If this were a ‘normal’ courtship, (courtship? he’d definitely been spending too much time with Zayn), he would have his arm over Harry’s shoulder with his nose buried in the kids neck already. However they hadn’t even agreed that this was a date, Harry had hinted at liking Louis, but was this just a get together for him or was he expecting more?

And then there were the bloody cameras! He was acutely aware of them watching his every move, which meant if he made a move on Harry that wasn’t reciprocated Zayn would never let him hear the end of it, and he’d have proof.

Realistically he should be ok with the idea of being filmed, he wanted to be an actor after all, however this was real life, his real life and sadly it wasn’t scripted. Anything that happened would really have happened. To him. That idea alone gave him palpitations.

“Another drink?” He asked the younger boy. He needed a breather, he needed to re-group and get back in the game. He had underestimated the effect Harry could have on him and he had to try harder to stay more focused than he had so far. 

Harry looked between their half-filled bottles curiously and nodded. “Sure.”

Louis kicked himself for being such a fucking idiot, neither of them needed a new drink. Without pausing the film he darted up and out the door, only remembering to breathe when he was leant against the kitchen counter.

Help! He texted Zayn. His friend always had reasonably good luck with women, although Louis never understood why, so maybe he could give him some words of wisdom. Although this was Zayn he was pinning his hopes on, so maybe not wisdom as such. 

“Hey,” Louis spun around to see an inquisitive Harry standing in the doorway.

“Oh hey, let me just get those beers yeah,” he started to walk to the refrigerator until he was intercepted by a tall lean body. “Um…”

“Everything okay, Lou?” Harry’s eyes were innocently large and pure green as Louis tilted his head to look up at him.

“Yeah, of course.”

“It’s just things got a little awkward up there,”

“What? No! Not at - ok yeah a little,” he laughed and took a step back as the close proximity begun to make him dizzy. He hadn’t expected Harry to counteract his step thus keeping the closeness between them. 

“So what’s wrong?” Louis raised his hands and pressed them against Harry’s firm chest before repeating his backwards step, desperate to get some space from the headiness the younger boy caused him.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he rolled his eyes “I was just thinking - or over thinking, it’s fine let’s get back to the film yeah?”

As he moved to turn away, large, hot hands moved to cover his, stopping his retreat.

“Is this a date Louis? Because it feels like a date but I want to be sure.” The little bastard smirked as he stared down at the older lad. Louis scoffed as he tried to pinpoint when exactly he had lost control and when this kid had become so forward. Where was the shy guy that came out to him in a garden? Louis wasn’t sure what to make of the boy’s new assertiveness. 

“Do you want it to be a date Harry?” The words were thick as they pushed through his lips, his attempt at nonchalance failing. 

“Yes.”

The confirmation was like a hammer to a sheet of glass. The awkwardness that had consumed Louis dissipated and relief spread through his blood. It was as if the control had been handed back to him. He could work with this; he knew what to do. He wasn’t new to dating; he just had to get back into the swing of the night.

“Then what do you say we go make out while watching a film?” his waggled his eyebrows and smiled.

“Let’s go!” Harry grinned and waited in the doorway for Louis to grab some more drinks and follow him up the steps. Louis’ phone buzzed in his pocket and he ignored it, there was nothing that Zayn could say that would improve on the sparkling interest in Harry’s emerald orbs.

They didn’t make out but they did sit closer and as they shared the snacks and chatted about the movie that both of them had already seen, Louis placed his hand on Harry’s thigh and let it stay there for the rest of the night.

When it was time for Harry to leave, Louis’ mum was back home and pottering around the kitchen. Her son was no idiot and knew her starting the washing up was timed perfectly with the opening of his bedroom door. She wanted to meet his friend after giving up the house for the evening, and he could hardly deny her.

“Mum,” he drew her attention as Harry slipped on his shoes and smirked when she pretended to be surprised by his presence.

“Hi honey,” she smiled and wiped her hands on a tea towel as she walked over to the pair.

“This is Harry.”

“Right, your friend.”

Harry smiled shyly and offered a hand for Jay to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs… Louis.”

Jay laughed and shot her son a meaningful wink off approval as she told Harry to call her by her given name. Satisfied that the simple introduction was enough, Louis ushered Harry away and stepped out into the cold night air to say goodbye.

“I had a good time tonight.” Harry told him shyly, scuffing his toes on the gravel coating the Tomlinson’s driveway.

“Me too Haz.” Louis was unsurprised to find that he meant it. He did have a great time. The younger lad was very easy to talk to and he found that they had similar tastes in a lot of things. He sighed quietly and forced himself to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Haz?”

“You did say you didn’t like gay Harry,” Louis grinned and received a tentative nudge to his shoulder. The air stilled around them, pregnant with expectancy. While Louis contemplated how to end the night, Harry took the moment to lean in and place a soft kiss on the corner of Louis’ unsuspecting mouth, just shy of his lips. Their breath mingled as Harry pulled away and if he’d been capable of coherent thought, Louis would have brought the younger boy back for more. He’d never felt so much from so little.

“Goodnight Lou.”

“Goodnight Harry.” His words flowed softly through the night to Harry’s retreating back as Louis watched from the step until he was out of sight. His phoned beeped in his pocket and he pulled it out to see that he had two messages from Zayn. The first - a reply to his plea for help and the second a friendly dig for gossip;

Sitting closer to him would be a good place to start

You better have been gone so long for a good reason ;p

Louis realised one thing instantly, Zayn - the little bastard - had been watching a live feed of their date all night. He smiled softly, not even that could wipe the lingering smile from his lips as he walked back inside.

 

~7~

 

Louis had successfully ignored Zayn for the remainder of the weekend and all of that morning. He would have tried for lunch as well but he had to face his friend sometime - he just wasn’t looking forward to it. Both Niall and Zayn were notorious for teasing Louis whenever they got the chance, ganging up on him to make fun of something he had said or a precarious situation he had gotten himself into. Usually he would take it in good stead, but having video evidence of him making a prat out of himself was a new twist to the game, and running the events of the evening through his mind was bad enough – he didn’t need the video footage to go along with it.

He had kept up a steady stream of texts with Harry since he had last seen him and he wouldn’t admit that he looked forward to the buzz of his phone throughout the day. It was okay though, because he had it under control, the texts were all part of the plan; there was nothing to worry about. Just a little bit of harmless, premeditated flirting that would be useful in reeling young Harold further into their net. 

“He lives! The date master Tomlinson is fucking alive after all!” Louis grimaced as Zayn sat down opposite him, a wide shit-eating grin playing on his lips.

“Yes, ok, get it over with.” Louis rolled his eyes, pretending that he didn’t care about the teasing and that he hadn’t been avoiding Zayn for that very reason.

“What? I’m not teasing, I’m in awe! Who knew you were the perfect host - nobody would go thirsty with Lou Tomlinson on the case.” Zayn laughed around his meatball sub and shook his head as Louis blushed. Although the night had ended pretty well he had run the drink fiasco over and over in his mind wondering what had possessed him to be such a twat. If Harry hadn’t come after him the night could have gone in a completely different direction, all because, apparently, Louis was a bumbling mess when under pressure.

“Shut up Z,”

“Louis please, I have much more to say! Like the fact that your fascination with White Cream appears to be mutual. That’s a good thing.” Zayn nodded knowingly before laughing loudly at his innuendo while Louis fought back a smile. Bastard. It was so hard not to like him when he was being funny. 

“Seriously shut up!”

“Alright lads,” Niall slipped into his seat beside Zayn and wiggled his eyebrows at Louis “so does little Harry put out on the first date?”

Louis groaned, “Why don’t you ask Spielberg over here?”

“Ahh yes the sex tapes!” Niall grinned lewdly and Louis dropped his head down onto the table “send them to me, yeah?”

Zayn nodded and started to re-tell some of the highlights. He was just getting to the part where apparently Harry was reaching for Louis’ dick and not the popcorn (which actually hadn’t happened) when Louis lifted his head and smacked down his hands.

“You two seriously need to get out more! What I do or don’t do with Harry is not up for file sharing. You need it Z fine, but keep his beady little eyes off it!”

“Hey!” The Irishman shouted, offended by his friend’s outburst. Zayn patted his hand and murmured about accidentally leaving his laptop open. Louis was just about to throw his chair back and storm off when he felt a warm hand at the base of his neck. He craned to see who was there but he needn’t have looked as the goosebumps rising on his skin told him exactly who his visitor was.

“Hey,” Harry stared down at Louis all wide eyed and red cheeked. His friend, Liam, Louis thought he’d been told, stood behind him uncomfortably.

“Hey Haz, good morning?” He kept his tone light, extremely aware of the two pairs of interested eyes trained on him.

“Not bad, actually slept through my first lecture so I can’t complain.” They laughed together and Louis nodded. He could understand the sentiment completely; he himself was known for sleeping away the first half of his freshmen year. 

“Oh, this is Zayn and Niall.” He felt a little awkward introducing them knowing everything they were doing to Harry. It made it seem a little more real with them all sharing the same space. Still, his friends smiled warmly and nodded welcomingly as Harry introduced himself and Liam. 

All was quiet for a second before Harry lowered himself on bent knees and leaned in close to the side of Louis’ face. The smell of strawberries and musk was a heady combination and it took all the reserve Louis had to pay attention to what the younger lad was saying.

“I was thinking you could come and hang out at mine tonight,”

“Um, sure, yeah, that’d be great!” He smiled and was rewarded with a relieved grin.

“You could bring your friends if you want,” Harry added as he moved away and Louis ignored the way his stomach dropped at the idea that they wouldn’t be alone.

“Sounds good.” Louis replied, and the younger of the two twisted his head to rearrange his hair, muttered something about texting him later and then walked off with Liam trailing behind.

“Well boys, looks like we’ve got plans tonight,” he told them firmly before biting into his untouched burger and ignoring their subsequent conversation.

*^*^*

“Ring the fucking doorbell already Lou! Jesus!” They’d arrived at Harry’s flat, drinks in hand as instructed, and Niall was growing impatient with his friend just staring at the door.

Harry had been lucky and was in one of the new blocks of accommodation that boasted self-contained flats shared by just three students. It was the university’s way of trying to stay ahead of the competition and Louis had looked at them for his second year before realising it was far cheaper to stay at home. The kid must have a fair bit of money behind him if he could afford to stay there.

“Once we’re in there you can’t make fun of me!” Louis insisted. It was bad enough interacting with a hidden audience, so he wasn’t looking forward to his friends being in the same room. He knew that with just one look from them he would be toast.

He really wasn’t sure what was going on with him. He was Louis Tomlinson. He was loud, often obnoxious and he didn’t really care what other people thought of him. People could take him or leave him. On paper, he was the perfect candidate for Zayn’s task. But as soon as he had signed up for it everything changed. He found himself worried about being made a fool of, scared of rejection and unsure of just how to pursue a relationship, something he had done multiple times. Even though he constantly tried to keep himself in check, he found himself with feelings for the younger boy. He didn’t understand what was happening to him.

“Stop being such a pansy!” Zayn exclaimed loudly and Louis would have taken offence had he not known his friend didn’t mean anything by the derogatory term. “It’ll be fine. We’re going to go in there, have a drink, play a few video games and get you closer to popping open curly’s pants. We’re just hanging out.”

As far as pep talks went it was pretty shit, but if Louis focused on the words “drink” and “video games” and not the words “curly” and “pants”, it didn’t seem quite so bad. With a deep, calming breath Louis reached out and pressed the buzzer.

After a few short moments Harry greeted them warmly and let them slip past him into the hallway; Louis waited until last and was rewarded with a welcoming kiss placed softly on his cheek. Warmth spread across his skin from the touch, but he concentrated instead on being ushered further in. 

As they followed they passed a large open plan kitchen on their right. It was large enough for eight people, let alone the three that lived there. There was a wooden door opposite, the number 1 screwed onto the front which they passed quickly until stopping outside an identical door boasting the number 2. Harry pushed it open with one arm and stood aside to let the three friends pass.

Liam was already placed in the corner on a recliner texting quietly on his phone as they entered. The room wasn’t huge but it was bigger than Louis’ own. It had a single bed – even though there was room for a double - pushed lengthways across the wall, a wardrobe, a large corner desk and a mismatched dresser holding a decent sized TV. Two large beanbags littered the floor and Zayn and Niall flopped down in them instantly.

Harry crawled onto the bed and patted the space next to him for Louis to follow, which the older boy did without question – ignoring the wink he saw from Zayn out of the corner of his eye. He reached into the bag slung across his lap and deposited a bottle of cheap vodka, eight cans of redbull and shot glasses onto the duvet between his legs. He threw one of each to Niall and Zayn, passed one to Harry and leant over to give Liam his.

“No thanks,” Liam answered pushing away the offered glass “I don’t drink.”

“What?!” Zayn was incredulous and stared openly at the quiet lad “how can you be at uni and not drink?”

“Most people actually come here to learn,” Liam answered, his tone showing that he took some offence to Zayn’s comment. He certainly wasn’t the first to be offended by Zayn’s manner. The northern lad was truthful and rarely thought before he spoke, often getting the threesome in some sticky situations which were only diffused by Louis’ quick wit and Niall’s charm.

He realised this may not have been the best idea. The two groups were quite different and maybe trying to marry them together wasn’t going to work. Not that it had to- he was only going to be with Harry for a limited time, just long enough to enact revenge and get Zayn what he needed for his class.

“Do you have any big glasses?” Louis turned his attention to Harry who had been looking quizzically at Liam.

“Yeah in the kitchen,” he slid off the bed and walked to the door before gesturing for Louis to follow him.

They walked the few steps in silence, Louis trailing behind taking in Harry’s tall frame. Louis found that he quite liked the height difference between them, looking up gave him a different perspective of Harry and having the younger boy looming over him warmed his stomach. 

The kitchen had a large round table with a few discarded dishes left in its centre and two large fridge-freezers. When Louis questioned the fact that all of this was for just three people Harry shrugged sheepishly and guided him over past the island.

“Glasses are in there,” Harry nodded towards the corner cupboard, a sly grin on his lips.

“You’re quite the host, Haz, thanks.” It wasn’t until moments later when he opened the door and saw the glasses out of reach that he realised he had been set up. He laughed and turned to chastise Harry only to get his breath caught in his throat. Harry was a lot closer than he had been moments before and he was edging closer still.

“Do you want some help Lou?” Harry drawled and Louis’ knee’s definitely weakened at the combination of his smooth voice and heated eyes.

“Um,” coherent thought had left him behind and he succumbed to the feeling of Harry’s long lean body pushing against his to stretch for the glassware. He had nowhere to put his hands other than the sharp protruding hips that were pushing into his abdomen so he gripped them tightly and enjoyed the low hiss his companion emitted at the touch. 

When the last tumbler was sitting safely on the counter Harry pressed his body into Louis’, keeping their close proximity intact. Louis looked up into piercing eyes and was overwhelmed with the need to push his fingers into loose curls and his tongue into wet heat. All rational thought was gone as their breaths quickened and mixed between them.

As Harry’s arms tugged at his waist Louis thought, fuck it. There was nothing wrong with kissing Harry; it could all be construed as part of the plan. He wouldn’t have to admit that he wanted it more than anything else in that moment; he could always explain it away to the task at hand.

Overwhelming need flushed through his veins as he closed his eyes, ready to give in, ready to sample the feast that lay before him. All for the greater good of the plan but not really at all. 

He could feel the space between their lips lessen and could almost taste Harry in the air. It was teasing him, tempting him like the forbidden fruit that Harry was and just as he was about to take a bite, the door crashed open.

“Oh! Sorry! I just needed some more juice,” Liam waved his empty glass in the air but made no move to leave. He actually didn’t look apologetic at all. With a deep guttural grunt Harry moved away, leaving Louis to collect his thoughts and return his breathing to normal. Disappointment crushed him and he felt the loss right down to his toes.

With a shake of his head and a silent thanks that it hadn’t been Zayn to interrupt them, Louis grabbed the glasses and made his way quickly back to the room. He vaguely heard Harry and Liam exchange heated words but had no inclination to stick around and find out what they were.

By the time the two returned, the three newcomers had set up the games console and had Call of Duty ready to play. Seizing an opportunity to relieve the tension between them, Louis declared that every time someone took a hit they all had to take a shot. Although he was initially greeted with a chorus of groans the boys agreed and began to play.

Louis enjoyed the evening immensely from his spot beside Harry. He enjoyed the quietly exchanged smiles and the accidental touches and he let himself forget about everything but enjoying the night with his friends and a stupidly hot guy.

 

~8~

 

Louis woke to the touch of soft lips against his own. For a moment he thought he was dreaming, until he realised that the warmth encasing his mouth and the hand gripping his waist were very, very real. 

“Wh-“ he mumbled as his eyes flew open to stare directly into Harry’s smiling green orbs.

“Shhhh, we don’t want to wake anyone.” Harry smiled against his lips and slowly the world around him started to seep into view. They had all, bar Liam, got ridiculously and embarrassingly drunk last night.The boys had had a competition to see who could hold the most alcohol, and Louis figured that this was why Niall, Liam, and Zayn were scattered around the room, totally passed out. He would’ve been more upset if he hadn’t fallen asleep in Harry’s arms and now woken up to the kid towering over him.

He was vaguely aware of a headache brewing at the back of his skull but with Harry’s lithe torso pressed into his own he found it hard to concentrate on anything else.

“No, we wouldn’t want that.” He answered before impulsively lifting his head, just enough to claim Harry’s pinkpink lips in a firm kiss. He wasn’t thinking about cameras or plans, he was just thinking about his want. His need to finish what Harry had started in the kitchen the night before.

The fur on his tongue and his dry gums prompted him to keep the kiss just a press of flesh on flesh; but when Harry slowly drew a line along his bottom lip with a very wet, very teasing tongue he was opening up before logic even stood a chance at stopping him.

It didn’t taste nearly as bad as he had expected it would. Stale alcohol was present on Harry’s breath but it was mingled with a hint of a taste so sweet that he just had to search for more. His stiff arms lifted to hold Harry closer, press him harder and Louis lost himself willingly.

He had never expected to kiss anyone with morning-after breath let alone have his first kiss with Harry that way. It was an odd experience but it was also exciting and delicious and so badly wanted. Harry was every bit the kisser Louis thought he would be. His lips were soft but his tongue was demanding and Harry’s caress proved nearly as charming as the boy himself. As his fingers gripped tighter, needing more, Harry grunted. It was a noise so deep Louis felt it against his chest as his lips and tongue played chase with Harry’s.

The sound of a body shifting behind them broke the pair apart, their soft hurried breathes filling the air.

“I’d been wanting to do that all night.” Louis stated, sure that he could blame his honesty on his upcoming hangover.

“Me too. You tasted just as I thought you would.” A blush crept along the younger boy’s neck as he shook his head in embarrassment.

“Yeah?” Louis couldn’t help but smirk, “how did I taste?” 

“Like fairy dust and fucking rainbows!” a gruff voice interrupted, “now will the two of you shut the hell up, my head’s pounding!” Louis stilled at the sound of his best friend and rolled his eyes at Harry. He refused to be embarrassed when he was wrapped so warmly in first kiss bliss.

It took all of a minute for the euphoria to wear off and the realisation that he wasn’t supposed to be basking in any kind of emotion took over. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” He asked, hoping Harry wouldn’t sense his sudden change in mind, his sudden need to flee. He received a ridiculous look in return and rolled up off of the bed to follow Harry as he gestured to do.

They clicked the door shut behind them and Harry led him to a door at the end of hall before placing a quick kiss on Louis’ lips and stating that he’d be in the kitchen fixing tea.

Louis was grateful for the moment alone; he needed to compose himself and, as was obvious when he looked in the mirror, pretty himself up.

As expected, he was a mess (and not a hot one at that) and why Harry had wanted to kiss him he didn’t quite understand. His hair was a stuck up nest, his eyes red rimmed and bloodshot and his cheeks covered in duvet indentations. 

After using the toilet and washing his face with water from the cold tap he’d kept running, he borrowed some mouthwash he found in the cupboard and felt at least slightly more presentable.

Harry was where he said he would be, casually leant up against the counter with a steaming cup in hand. And he looked fucking beautiful. How Louis hadn’t taken in his appearance before that point he wasn’t sure, but the boy looked ridiculously, bloody cute. He had thought his own hair was wild, but it had nothing on Harry’s curls. They stood above his head in fluffy strands screaming to be touched, to be smoothed down. Unlike Louis’, Harry’s eyes sparkled, they were bright and impossibly green and showed no sign of the alcohol intake or lack of sleep. It was criminal.

Louis sauntered over to a watchful Harry and easily lifted the filled cup out of his hands and to his mouth. Their eyes stayed connected as he sipped the hot liquid and almost gagged.

“Jesus Harry how many sugars did you put in this?” He wiped frantically at his tongue as Harry laughed.

“You could have asked. I had every intention of making you your own.”

Louis poked out his tongue. “I thought I was being cute!” 

“You were.” Harry offered a small smile before he turned and started to fix another cup. When finished he held it out for Louis to take, but moved it just before the older boy could reach it. Harry pouted his plump lips and relinquished the cup only when he was rewarded with a kiss from the older boy. Louis smiled.

But why did it feel like Harry was the one seducing him?

*^*^* 

The four boys made a unanimous decision to forego their classes, so while Liam was out learning, they lazed around the dorm room eating food they’d ordered in and having intermittent naps.

Now that they were more familiar with each other, Louis was pleased to see that Harry got on with his two friends rather well. He refused to even think about how hurt Harry would be when he found out that all of them were betraying him.

That evening when their hangovers had almost reached their end, the newcomers said goodbye to Harry and made their way home in Zayn’s car, which he’d left overnight in the dorm lot. Having dropped Niall home Zayn followed Louis into his house, armed with a handheld camera he’d hidden in the boot.

“Do we really have to do this now?” Louis groaned. His headache may have left but a few shorts naps hadn’t expelled his tiredness. The last thing he wanted to do was bare his soul to his friend.

“Yes. Sorry, but we need to get it all while it’s fresh in your mind. I need all the details.” Zayn played with the camera functions while Louis toyed with the idea that they could probably make this video three years from now and he would still remember every detail of that kiss. He’d still remember the way Harry’s large hands held him, he’d still remember the look in his eyes and the taste of his lips as they pressed against his.

A heavy weight settled on his shoulders and he was tempted to let it crush him. There were only so many times he could tell himself he was ok with the plan before he realised he was lying, but telling himself once more wouldn’t hurt. He was ok with the plan. Harry was getting what he deserved. Louis was doing what he could to save young girls’ hearts. There. That didn’t help at all. 

“Zayn.” He sounded tired, despondent and it got his friend’s attention straight away. Hung-over or not Louis had never sounded so withdrawn. “I just don’t think I can so this right now.” Anymore.

“Louis, are you ok?” Concern shone in Zayn’s dark eyes as he put down the camera to take a seat next to his friend.

“Yeah. I just… Sometimes this doesn’t feel right.” He regretted his whispered words the second he heard them back.

“Lou…” Zayn sighed, unsure what to say and hoping it was just the need for sleep that had Louis on edge.

“I know. Ignore me. I’m tired and hung-over and I’ll be fine tomorrow.” He offered a smile and although it didn’t reach his eyes, he knew Zayn accepted it. They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in thought.

“Ok.” Zayn interrupted. “How about I leave this camera here and instead of me interviewing you all the time, you do a video diary and I’ll collect it at the end?”

Louis blinked. Zayn was giving him space. Zayn was giving him space and Louis hadn’t expected the relief he felt in his chest. For all the teasing and banter that went on in their friendship Zayn always had Louis’ back when it counted. He was filled with a sudden flood of warmth for the northern boy.

“Thanks Z,” he pulled Zayn into a quick hug and then laughed as he pulled away. Hugging was never really something they did.

“See you tomorrow, yeah?” Zayn checked as he stood up.

“Are you kidding? It’s Wednesday, of course I’ll be there!”

Ignoring Louis’ sarcasm and after very briefly explaining how to use the camera, Zayn left, satisfied that Louis was okay.

When he was left alone, Louis picked up the small device, sat against the wall at the head of his bed and pressed record. After a few attempts, he had it angled it a way he deemed the most flattering and took a deep breath.

“Ok I’ll admit I have no idea what to say here,” he giggled uncomfortably, “this whole thing is just really overwhelming and I’m starting to realise that I’m not as good an actor as I thought I’d be. 

When Zayn first told me about what Harry had done, I was furious! I have sisters and if some jerk did that to them I’d kill him. That’s the problem though. Harry doesn’t seem like a jerk. My head is telling me that he did this fucking awful thing and that he deserves to be made a fool of but my..” he coughed and rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. “My heart is telling me that he’s wonderful. Aside from the fact that he’s gorgeous, he makes me laugh and the way he blushes - that can’t be faked! I think. I don’t know. Maybe it’s part of his act. All I know is that this is harder than I ever thought it would be.” 

He pauses and tips his head back to lean against the wall with a small thud, forgetting for a moment that he was videoing himself. It was so freeing to say it out loud, to get the mess of words out of his head and lay them bare in front of him. He felt lighter. This video diary could be a great thing for him, a confessional of sorts, as long as he forgot that Zayn would at some point be seeing everything he’d said. Louis sat up, ran a hand through his hair and smiled shyly.

“Want to know something?” He pursed his lips together as he contemplated whether to put the last words in his head out there for everyone to see. “I’ve kissed quite a few people, not too many but just enough to know that when Harry kissed me - it was different. And I can’t exactly explain why but even now as I think about it I feel something fluttering in my chest. The way he looked at me made me feel special.” Louis turned away from the camera, feeling his exposure to the film like heat against his skin. He thought about erasing it all and starting it again but that had been the most truthful he had been since the plan began and it felt good to know that he was still capable of it. He would always be honest in his diary’s because until the whole ordeal, the ridiculous webs of lies, was over it was all he had.

“Quite honestly,” he stated, staring directly into the cameras lens “I just don’t know what to do.”

 

~9~

 

“Why are we doing this again?” Louis flicked at the wire Zayn had taped to his chest and winced at the thought of pulling the tape off at the end of the night. He didn’t have a lot of chest hair but he had enough for the tape to cling to and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Because we need to get clearer sound. The button cameras pick up a little but this is your first proper date, I want to catch it all.” Zayn explained as he pulled a transparent earpiece out of a small blue box.

“Ok fine, but why this? The last thing I want is you in my ear when I’m on a date with Harry.” Louis took the offered piece and placed it into his ear. He was doubtful that Harry wouldn’t see it, it looked pretty obvious to him. With a scowl on his face he shrugged into his white shirt and rolled up the sleeves slightly.

“I might need you to get a better angle or move so that the mike works. Believe it or not I have better things I could be doing with my night.”

“You’re not fooling anyone there mate,” Louis rolled his eyes and shot one last look in the mirror before slipping into his red Toms and pushing his wallet and keys into his pocket. It was a little too tight for comfort but he was used to it .

“Hey Lou?” Louis turned to face his friend “you’ll be alright yeah?”

They stared at each other a moment and for the first time Louis realised just how much Zayn worried about him. Not wanting to be a burden Louis plastered on a grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Of course I will, it’s young Harold you need to worry about.” With a quick wink Louis left his room with Zayn trawling behind, monitor in hand.

Louis met Harry on the corner of the campus and his breath absolutely did not get caught in his throat when his saw the perfectly quaffed curls on the smiling kid.

“Hey Lou, you look good,”

“Thanks you too,”

The atmosphere was soft and expectant, everything a date should be. It didn’t matter that they had spent the last week ducking into quiet corners of the university to make out, or that since Wednesday their groups had started to eat lunch together. He saw a lot more of the boy than their hesitant greeting would suggest.

“Ok I’m in the car and I can hear you, give a little wave if you can hear me,” Zayn’s voice filled his ear loudly and Louis couldn’t help but grimace.

“You ok?” Harry asked, concerned.

“Yeah sorry, just a bug.” He would have laughed at his joke if he wasn’t more worried about inconspicuously waving at Zayn and trying to keep his ear out of Harry’s view. He should never have agreed to this.

Louis lifted his hand and waved slightly before fussing with his hair. Hoping that that would be enough of a signal. Zayn confirmed that it was.

“Shall we go?” Harry asked as he tentatively reached out to grasp Louis’ hand.

Louis froze for a second, once again taken aback by Harry’s confidence at times, before threading his fingers with Harry’s long digits. It felt good, it felt right to hold Harry’s hand out in public. To show everyone that they were together. He locked the feeling away so that no matter what else happened this moment wouldn’t be taken away from him.

They walked all the way to Pizza Hut with their hands entwined and in comfortable silence. There was something easy about being with Harry. When Louis forgot about why he was there and just enjoyed the time they shared it was effortless. It was only when he put pressure on himself that things became hard and there was no worse pressure than Zayn in his ear listening to every word he would say.

They were seated opposite each other, their drinks ordered, before there was a pregnant lapse between them. Louis had been staring at the menu for over 5 minutes and intended to continue doing so until he had something witty and flirty and clever to say.

“Offer to share a pizza, it’s romantic,” the words were clear in his ear and it was the reminder he hadn’t needed. He had no doubt that if Zayn had just left him too it he’d be fine.

“Do you know what you want?” Louis asked “did you want to share?”

He was rewarded with a smile framed beautifully by two deep dimples. Louis groaned inwardly as he promised himself that one day he’d lick them out. “Sure. Do you like pepperoni?”

In the end they decided on a large meat feast and waited for the drinks to arrive.

“Ask him how his day was or something - come on Lou. And move your arm, you’re sounding a bit muffled.” Louis was already fed up of his friend’s voice and it took everything he had not to roll his eyes and sigh deeply. Out of principle he didn’t follow Zayn’s directions and he didn’t move his arm. So there.

“I heard the drama club are doing The Little Shop of Horror's this year - is that something you’re involved in?” Louis smiled broadly, Harry was leaning forward on his elbows - chin resting on his clasped hands. He was genuinely interested and warmth spread throughout his chest. Harry was interested in him, interested in his drama. And it was genuine. Harry was always so bloody genuine.

“They are but I’m not. Weirdly the drama students and the drama club don’t really mix. I’m not even sure why - it’s just always been that way I think.” He answered and suddenly things were easier. They talked about Uni and how they were getting on, they shared stories from parties they’d been too (some at the same time without knowing) and how they’d met their friends.

Zayn stayed relatively quiet only adding his two cents every now and again and Louis found himself saying things that he knew would wind his friend up. Like the time they went to a bar and Zayn got three different drinks poured over him. It wasn’t until their food arrived and they were half through their third slices that things took a more serious turn.

During a pause in their conversation Harry had been fidgeting and no amount of prompting from his ear piece would make Louis badger the boy about why.

“When did you realise you liked boys as much as girls?” Harry asked and although Louis had been asked the question before and really didn’t mind answering it, he was a little shocked that Harry was asking him and in such a fragile way. As if there was more to it than just a question. It was this surprise that had Louis spilling the glass of JD and coke that had been on the way to his lips, down his shirt.

“Shit!” He exclaimed and clambered to discard the half empty glass and reach around for some napkins to wipe himself up. Harry leant over the table as best he could to help wipe at the stain, which had spread into a worm like shape under his left arm. “I’ll just nip to the toilet and dry this off, sorry.”

Louis gave Harry a sheepish smile before darting out of the chair and through the rows of patrons before heading into the restrooms.

“Well you handled that well mate!” Zayn spoke, amusement lacing his tone.

“Fuck off Z!” Louis replied as he walked into one of the empty stalls and grabbed a handful of tissue. “I was just surprised.”

While Zayn chatted on about possible outcomes of the conversation and what it could mean, Louis came to a realisation. Harry was uncomfortable with the line of questioning he had opened, yet he opened it anyway. The younger boy had almost seemed scared to speak up and Louis had probably just made it ten times worse. If it was some kind of heart to heart that Harry wanted, there was no way Louis was going to let Zayn in on it.

Locking the door of the stall he removed his shirt and started to strip the microphone wire from his skin. As predicted it stung like hell and his accompanying hiss alerted his best friend to the fact that something was wrong.

“What are you doing Lou?” the voice asked, “why can’t I hear you properly?”

“Sorry Zayn but you know what they say.. three’s a crowd.” Louis scrunched his nose up at his use of such a cliché, but very apt, line. He quickly removed the ear piece so as to ignore any screams of protest he might be thrown, scrunched them all up into a messy ball and pushed them into his pocket.

Forgetting his stained shirt he left the restroom with purpose, only to find Harry at the table accompanied by a take away box and a paid receipt. The younger man stood when Louis approached, an apprehensive smile on his face. The idea that he was cutting this short because of his reaction to the question made Louis feel sick.

“I thought we could go somewhere,” Harry said before Louis could sit down. He just nodded in response before following Harry through the throng of customers and out of the door.

They walked for about 5 minutes in thoughtful silence. Harry had been chewing his lip the whole time and Louis was both extremely turned on and worried at the same time. When they reached the neighbourhood park it was empty and Harry walked determinedly over to the lonely swings. It was still relatively early, the sun having only just set a few hours ago, but Louis estimated that they had about an hour and a half before the local teenagers descended. He took the swing beside Harry and they quickly fell into the rhythmic back and forth that he’d enjoyed as a youngster.

“Is everything ok Haz?” Louis asked tentatively and was relieved to see Harry smile in return.

“Yeah, it’s just… there’s something I should probably tell you… but I don’t want it to change anything. I’ve really enjoyed these last few weeks.” Harry scuffed at the floor as he spoke and rocked gently from his seat. Louis’ heart was pounding. How could he listen to Harry’s confession when he had such a big one of his own he had no intention of sharing.

“I’ve enjoyed them too.” Minus the lying and scheming he really had enjoyed spending time with the subject of their BSC plan. He smiled softly at Harry, hypnotised by the way the moonlight shone off his chocolate brown curls and pink lips. Not for the first time he prayed to whoever was listening that this could work out. That they would realise Harry wasn’t the guy they thought he was and somehow Harry would forgive him for trying to play games with his heart.

“The thing is, I should tell you that,” the dark haired boy gripped the pizza box tightly in his hands, oblivious to the way the cardboard bowed beneath his fingers, “I’ve never done this before.”

The words left his mouth in a rush of air and it took Louis a moment to catch up with them. “Done what before?”

“I’ve never dated a guy before.” Louis tried to process the confession and was torn in two completely separate directions. The first, that Harry was usually so confident, he often instigated the kisses between them and made no qualms about showing Louis how much he liked him. It’s true that whenever sexuality was brought up Harry seemed more sensitive, grew quieter and more unsure of himself but he still would never have guessed that he hadn’t been with a guy before. The second was the whole mess with Rachel. It would make sense if that was true because Harry would have only just realised he was gay after getting with her. However there was some length of time between their break-up and the boy’s plan, surely he would have experimented? Unless of course Louis was completely misunderstanding what Harry was saying.

“Dated or like, um… anything?” Louis grimaced even as he said the words aloud. He hated how patronising he had sounded, although Harry never seemed to mind.

“Anything.” Harry rolled his bright green eyes and Louis hated the embarrassment he saw in them. He slowed his swing to a complete stop and reached out a hand to pull on Harry’s chain. Once they were only millimetres apart Louis loosened one of Harrys hands from the greasy box and entwined the long fingers with his own.

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t know I liked boys for a long time and then when I did I was too scared to experiment. It took me months to put myself in any kind of situation with a guy and then I was a complete wreck. I forgot how to talk to a man let alone kiss him. Which you have mastered by the way.” Louis smiled sincerely and his chest tightened as Harry grinned proudly in response.

“It wasn’t that I was scared, more that I felt guilty.” Again he chewed on his lip and Louis wanted nothing more than to lean forward and bite the damn thing himself. He forced his mind to focus, it wasn’t fair to get distracted when Harry was being so serious.

“Why guilty?”

“I was with this girl,” Harry sighed deeply and wobbled in his unstable seat. Louis tightened his grip on Harry’s hand to keep him close, even though his heart was thudding wildly. This was it. Harry was talking about Rachel, which would mean it was all real. He wouldn’t be able to live in denial anymore. If he let Harry continue with what he wanted to say it could potentially ruin everything and Louis wasn’t ready to find out that Harry wasn’t as amazing as he thought he was. However he didn’t stop him. Harry needed this and who was he to stop the boy from lightening his heart. No-body should feel guilty for being gay and it would give Louis the chance to hear his side of the story. “She was sweet and funny and I thought I loved her. But then I went out one night and I saw this guy and suddenly I couldn’t get him out of my head. Even when I was with her I was thinking about him and I couldn’t work out why. I started having these dreams about him, about kissing him and… well it took me a while but I realised that I actually liked him more than I liked her and that wasn’t really fair.”

“Harry,” so much was swimming around Louis’ head. This was the confirmation that he hadn’t wanted and yet it wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Harry hadn’t intended to break Rachel’s heart had he? He was just confused about his sexuality, they’d all been there. Even Niall once. 

Worryingly the worse thing to come from the confession was the overwhelming jealousy that was clawing at Louis’ abdomen. Who was this boy that had captured Harry’s interest? Did Harry still want him? Why was Louis so worried when this was supposed to be just an act of revenge? A way to get back at a womanising jerk and get Zayn his much deserved A.

“It’s ok, it all worked out, I just feel bad about the way I handled things I guess.” Ironically Louis suddenly wished he was still taped up with his ear piece in, he could have done with some help right about then. He had no idea what to say. Harry had just opened up to him, told him something so personal and heartfelt. That meant something and Louis was scared of it.

For lack of anything else to say or do, Louis swung his chair closer and leant forward to capture Harry’s moist lips with his own. He tried to pour into it everything he couldn’t say. Everything he was hiding from even himself. He wanted Harry to know that he wasn’t alone and he would be there for him. He wanted Harry to know just how much it meant to him that he had confided in him.

It was awkward at first, trying to stay connected with a pizza box and gravity working against them, but with a few re-arrangements (throwing the pizza to the floor and pulling Harry onto his thighs) it began to work.

He allowed his fingers to nestle themselves in thick dark curls and his lips to nip and lick at Harry’s strong jaw. Harry was gripping tightly to the chains of the swing, as Louis tipped them to bring them closer still, only satisfied when they were chest to chest and hip to hip. Louis knew that he could never get tired of kissing Harry. The kid was so pliant and willing, so vocal in his enjoyment. His gravelly moans shot straight to Louis’ groan and he was contemplating just how far they could take the moment when a fat wet drop splashed down onto his nose. And then another. And another.

“It’s raining,” Harry panted, making no move to disentangle himself from the swing or from Louis.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss in the rain,” Louis murmured against Harry’s neck, reluctant to break away from the moment. He felt his partner's laugh vibrate through their connected flesh as heavier drops littered their skin. Harry indulged his fantasy, but only after pulling him up into a standing position and looping his arms around the shorter boy’s neck.

This kiss was sweet and filled with promises and it messed with Louis’ mind in more ways than he cared to admit. He would have a lot to talk about with his video diary when he got home, but he had no plans of leaving Harry anytime soon.

 

~10~

 

“I swear she was into me, like, really Lou. I could have got her number I think.” Louis sat at his desk, idly scrolling through twitter as Niall spoke through the receiver of his cell. He made a non-committal sound causing his friend to sigh. “Are you even listening to me?”

“What? Yes of course! You were telling me about a girl.” In truth he hadn’t been listening at all. Niall was known for talking people into comatose trances and unfortunately his friends weren’t immune. It was lucky for him that whenever Niall rambled it was usually about a girl. Most probably one the Irish lad had struck out with.

“Yes I was, which was a lucky guess because I know you weren’t bloody listening,” Niall harrumphed and Louis rolled his eyes as he chuckled.

“Sorry mate, I was just a little preoccupied, start again.” He meant it too, he would try and listen this time and ignore the mess of thoughts that were swimming inside his head.

“Nah, I didn’t get her number anyway, like. Tell me what’s going on with you? You and Harry looked pretty cosy this past week.”

Louis sighed deeply, “Yeah it’s fine I guess.” Niall ‘ooooohed’ and Louis made the decision then and there not to tell him about Harry’s little confession. At least not until he had it all sorted out in his head. Niall was a good friend but he wasn’t really the sympathetic type, plus he seemed to really like Harry or at least Harry with Louis and he was scared of the opinion he would receive if he asked.

“It’s not much longer now right?”

“No, two weeks I think Zayn said. You know me, I wasn’t really listening.” Except he had been, in great depth. Zayn wanted the camera back from Louis in a week’s time and the film would be shown to Zayn’s class and an auditorium of guests the week after. It was all Louis could do not to think about it. In two weeks his time with Harry would be over one way or another and deep down he knew there was no way he could come back from the stunt they were pulling. Not if he left it to play out as it was.

“You ok with that mate?” Niall asked with knowing concern.

“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t I be?” his words fell flat and he tried to quickly change the subject, choosing instead to talk about a house party that was coming up. Niall accepted the diversion easily and that was one of the things that Louis liked about him.

Twenty minutes later Niall was gone and Louis was left picking determinedly at the corner of his desk, watching as small flecks of plywood came off under his nails. He needed to think and there was only one way he knew to do that. Pushing himself out of his swivel chair he picked up the discarded camera he had ignored for the last couple of days and made himself comfortable on his bed, his back against the wall and legs outstretched. With practised ease he flipped out the screen and pressed record.

“I’ve been avoiding Harry,” Louis gnawed at his lip, eyes shining with guilt as he spoke into the familiar lens. “I didn’t mean to. Not at first, but now it’s been all weekend and I’m not sure what to do. If I answer now I have to have a reason as to why I ignored him before, and if I don’t then I need to have a reason for that, and nothing I could say will explain why one minute I’m kissing him in the rain and the next I’m avoiding him.” He sighed and wiped at his fringe with his free hand. The turmoil he was feeling was obvious, his eyes telling the story his lips were hinting at.

“I just… the thing is, this whole time I’d been hoping that we were wrong. I wanted to believe that we misunderstood and in some weird twist of fate we’d find out that he was the good guy and… oh… I don’t know.” Louis paused and stared off camera for a moment, deep in thought. Whatever he was thinking he shook off quickly before re-focusing. “But Zayn was right, because although he didn’t name her, he described the exact same situation and now I’m just full of questions that I don’t know the answers to. Like why did he tell me? Was it for sympathy, to reel me in so that he could do the same to me? Or did it all get caught up with the fight for his sexuality and everything was blown out of proportion? Because he never said he slept with her and that’s the real kicker of the story anyway. Because as a whole it wouldn’t be so bad if he hadn’t slept with her before figuring out he was gay. Right? And god, who was the guy you know? Like what kind of man can change someone’s sexuality? Or at least make someone realise what was always there.” He sighed and shifted until he was lying flat on the bed, his head nestled on the pillow and the camera held directly above his face with an outstretched arm.

“I don’t know how to look at him, I don’t know how to look at anyone because he makes me feel all these things that I try to ignore but I can’t because I… I like him.” Louis paused to laugh bitterly. “What kind of person does that make me? The kind that thinks it’s ok that he broke a girl’s heart just because I fancy him? The kind that is willingly lying to the boy he likes, willingly making a public spectacle out of him? The kind that is ignoring him for the simple fact that I can’t get a grip on myself anymore because my head is a contradicting mess? The thing is I know, I know that if the situation was different I would let myself fall so easily, everything is so perfect with him. He makes me laugh, he makes me tingle, he makes me want to be better – be someone he deserves but because of one stupid thing that he probably but not definitely did, it’s all screwed up. I’m all screwed up.” He closes his eyes for a moment and all that fills the room are his deep steady breaths. He’d never been so honest before and it’s shocked even him to realise that he feels the way he does. If he could rewind the last couple of weeks he would. He wishes he’d said no to Zayn’s plan from the second his friend had opened his mouth. He wishes he’d met Harry at a club or in a coffee shop or anywhere other than the reality. He wishes the tightness in his chest would go away and that he hadn’t fucking screwed up royally.

“It times like this I wish you could talk back.” A quick succession of raps to his door had his eyes flying open and the camera discarded. It was late so he doubted it was one of his sisters and he wasn’t in the mood to have a heart to heart with his mum right now. Reluctantly he sat up, swung his legs off the bed and walked over to the door that he had forgotten to lock.

“Harry?” his heart picked up its pace as it took in the sight of the rumpled boy standing at this door, however before he had time to do anything he was being pushed back into the centre of the room by a heaving torso. “Harry? What- “

The taller of the two blinked slowly before launching himself at Louis - who could only step back until the back of his knees hit the mattress and accept the kiss that was pushed onto his lips. Harry was frantically moving their mouths together in an almost painful caress. With raised hands Louis attempted to slow him down but there was something wild and animal like about the way Harry clung to him.

“Ha-“ he tried to get the younger man’s attention once more but was quickly distracted by perfect white teeth biting at his own pink bottom lip. Louis couldn’t stop the groan that escaped his throat, things had gotten heated between them before, usually in an empty classroom or janitor’s closet they had absconded into, but never like this. Never this quickly and although Louis wanted to take a moment and talk to Harry about what had him in such a state he just couldn’t bring himself to push the beautiful boy away.

So he didn’t. Instead he leaned into the rough kiss, pushed back with his own mouth, prodded with his tongue and grasped at the shirt clinging tightly to Harry’s lithe frame. As soon as his kiss was reciprocated Harry slowed slightly. His breath fanned raggedly against Louis’ skin and was more determined than desperate, sucking the air from Louis’ lungs with every flick of his tongue.

Large hands grappled at Louis’ t-shirt and pulled it quickly over his head, only parting their lips for a second to do so. For a fleeting moment Louis contemplated putting a stop to it all, that was the sensible thing to do after all, but then Harry’s fingers were spreading heat along his spine and it was forgotten. Everything was forgotten but the feel of skin on skin and the sound of hot, heavy breaths.

Harry ripped off his own shirt and pushed at Louis with his lips until they tumbled onto the crumpled bed. Louis gulped for air but tightened with electricity as their bare chests met and Harry’s lips travelled along his jaw and down the length of his throat nibbling as they went. 

“God… jesus… Harry…”

“Lou,”

Against his better judgement Louis rucked his hips and slipped his hands into the waistband of Harry’s jeans, the elastic of his underwear snapping against his fingers as he grabbed at the skin beneath.

Harry jutted down, the hardness in their trousers meeting and eliciting dirty groans from them both that Louis caught between their mouths as he drew the incredibly beautiful, undeniably sexy kid up into a kiss.

They fell into a slow rhythm, breathing into each other’s skin, rubbing purposefully together in a hedonistic haze. Harry’s head tucked into Louis’ neck as he stared, eyes disorientated, at the tiles of his ceiling.

His whole body was thrumming, his blood thumping through his veins as they clutched at each other, gyrated together, until Louis wasn’t sure how much he could take.

“Lou,” Harry gasped against him, causing Louis to shift his gaze to the towering pools of green suspended above him and any control he had held was gone as he shook and melted trapped between a scorching body and rumpled sheets. Harry followed him over the edge with a deep guttural groan that vibrated the air around them.

Breathing heavily Harry rolled off of him and the awareness of the wetness inside his trousers brought with it the clarity of what had just happened. “Shit,” Louis whispered, his voice shaky and an octave higher than he usually allowed it. He tried to make sense of what they had done, he hadn’t dry humped anyone since secondary school, yet not once had he thought to take it further. For that he was glad. Harry hadn’t been with a man before, or so he said, and Louis didn’t want to do too much under the lie that umbrella-ed them.

Realisation seemed to dawn on the younger boy only seconds later as he quickly scurried off of the bed and reached for his shirt, refusing to meet Louis’ eyes.

“Haz?” he was ignored and as a result his heart clenched. Harry looked wrecked. His cheeks were flushed post orgasm which in and off itself was fucking gorgeous, but his eyes were sad, ashamed almost and Louis hated seeing that look in his eyes. If anyone deserved to feel ashamed it was him.

After pulling his shirt over his head, Harry raked a hand through this wild curls and looked frantically around the room, anywhere but at Louis. “I just… I lo..like you and I thought… fuck.” Harry started to pace and Louis knew better than to get in his way. Whatever Harry was working through this was his way of handling it. “I just wanted… if this was the end of us, for my first time to be… no… never mind. I should just go. You didn’t want to talk to me and then I just barged in here and fucking humped you and I’m gonna go… I have to go… I’ll see you around yeah?”

With an uttered ‘sorry’ the young lad left like a whirlwind, pulling the door closed with a snap behind him. Louis stood rooted to his spot frozen in shock, wondering what the hell had just happened and trying to pick out any kind of sense from Harry’s ramblings.

Louis was left knowing that he had messed up again. He should have stopped Harry as soon as he entered the room. He should have sat him down and told him everything. Instead he had just complicated things further and Harry was left feeling like he was the bad guy when really, obviously it was Louis.

“Fuck!” Louis whispered into his empty room, surrounded by the ghost of Harry and his touch. “FUCK!” He knew what he had to do. There was only one thing he could do. He stepped to his desk and picked up his mobile before pressing out a quick text to Zayn.

I’m going to tell him

 

~11~

 

Louis walked the whole way to Harry’s room with coiled fists. Not only was he angry with himself but he was nervous. What was he going to say? How was he going to explain everything he had done and make Harry see that it was a mistake?

He knew that there was a high chance that he would lose everything he had with Harry but the lies were just too much. They were slowly eating away at his conscience and he felt more like the villain than Harry was ever supposed to be. He had done this willingly and now he had to own up. Zayn had enough material to pull something together. There didn’t need to be a declaration of love for revenge to be had because if their aim was to hurt Harry then they had succeeded. He just wasn’t convinced that they should have tried to hurt him in the first place.

As he turned the corner and the building came into view he also saw Liam, who had just exited the large structure. Louis wasn’t sure what to expect from the lad because he had always had the distinct feeling that Liam didn’t like him very much. He had never taken the time to talk to Louis unless Harry was with them and on the one occasion that he had seen him in the library, Liam had just walked passed him feigning ignorance. That was without the little digs that were sent in his direction all the time. He seemed to get on ok with the others, so it must have been something about him that the younger lad didn’t like, or maybe he was harbouring feelings for Harry that Louis was getting in the way of. He didn’t know and up until then he hadn’t cared. However he knew that if had taken the time to get Liam on side then maybe he would have had a chance at fixing this.

Louis bit at his lip as they moved closer to each other and he was hoping Liam would take this time to ignore him again, just walk right on past him…

“Louis.” Liam greeted, his mouth drawn tightly as his eyes narrowed.

“Liam.” Louis responded, lifting his chin in the hopes of hiding his unease.

“Are you going to see Harry?” Louis repressed the urge to answer sarcastically, as it was quite obvious that he was in fact there to see Harry, but instead just nodded. He didn’t trust that his voice could work its way around the lump in his throat to speak. Liam stared at him a moment, obviously considering what to say. “Maybe you should just leave it.”

He was a little shocked by the clarity of the words. The unspoken ‘for good’ was left hanging in the air between them. “Is that what he said?”

“I just think it would be the best for both of you. That way nobody gets hurt.” Louis hated how Liam sounded so wise, like on some level he knew everything. Because he couldn’t. As far as everyone else was concerned he and Harry had had a misunderstanding – it didn’t warrant the steadfast warning that Liam had omitted.

“I…” it wasn’t often that Louis was left speechless but he really had nothing to say to that. He thought about asking Liam what he knew but that would just open a whole new can of worms and he wondered whether Liam knew something that Louis himself didn’t. Because Liam’s words were loaded and made no sense if they were just talking about a little bit of ignoring and surprise humping.

“Look Louis, believe it or not I just want everyone to be happy and I think it’s in your best interests to stay away from Harry.” Then, as Louis grappled with words he couldn’t place, Liam stepped past him and walked away. Louis was left with the sudden urge to run. If he never went to speak to Harry it would all be over. He wouldn’t have to explain what he had done, he wouldn’t have to look at the inevitable hurt that would commandeer his beautiful green eyes and he wouldn’t have to admit that he was falling in love.

However he knew that if he did that he also wouldn’t stand a chance of forgiveness. The main reason he was there now was because he was hoping that there was a way to start over and if he ran then he’d never know.

He stood on the pathway for a few moments, ignoring the judgemental looks that were being thrown at him from passers-by, before realising that there was only one option that he could live with. So using determined steps he finished his walk to the building, climbed the stairs and knocked on the door to Harry’s shared flat before he could change his mind.

He faltered when a young blonde girl answered but once he stated that he was there for Harry she let him in without question and walked into the kitchen that he passed with long strides. He banged on Harry’s door three times and then another four when a minute slipped by without answer.

“Liam told me you were here you know,” Louis shouted through the wood. It was a half-truth but that didn’t matter, he had made up his mind that he was going to do it and he was. It didn’t matter that Liam had warned him off or that Zayn had chewed his ear off last night explaining why he shouldn’t come clean. What mattered was his relationship with Harry. Which was good, really good. They worked together, complimented each other and if last night was anything to go by the sex would be amazing.

Another minute passed and he raised his hand to strike again only for it to be met with air when it descended. Harry peaked through a crack in the door and it was all that Louis needed to see the unkempt curls and tired emerald eyes. “Hi,”

“I thought you had class.” It warmed Louis slightly that Harry knew his timetable as well as his own. He nodded, he did have somewhere to be but it didn’t matter.

“Can I come in?” Harry paused for a moment before nodding and opening the door further so that Louis could slip inside. Harry, dressed in sweats and an over-sized t-shirt moved to sit on the edge of his bed and Louis quickly followed to do the same.

The room was a mess, Louis noted, clothes and books and dirty dishes were strewn across all available surfaces and on the handful of times that Louis that visited it had never been this bad. Guilt crushed him when he realised what ignoring Harry for those two stupid days had done.

“I’m sorry,” Louis started, gaining Harry’s wide-eyed attention immediately, “I never meant to ignore you I just had a lot of stuff to think about and I know it was wrong, I feel really fucking awful about it-”

“Wait, you didn’t ignore me because of Zayn?” Louis shook his head, clueless as to what Harry was talking about but noting the kid’s obvious relief nonetheless.

“What about Zayn?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Oh, nothing… I just thought… it’s nothing.” Harry chewed at his lip distractingly. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have just barged in like that I-“

“No!” Louis interrupted, “you have nothing to apologise for Haz. That’s kind of why I’m here. I need to tell you something…”

He trailed off with the realisation that he was really going to do it. He was really going to potentially ruin his so called relationship with Harry when if he stopped now he could have it for at least another two weeks. He looked at Harry whose eyes shone with relief, he had obviously expected Louis to be the one that was angry but he had no idea of the bomb Louis was about to drop.

In a last ditch effort to cling to what they had Louis reached over to tangle his hands with Harry’s, enjoying the feeling of his small digit’s being engulfed in larger, warmer ones. He leant in slowly, head bowed to the side and watched as Harry closed his eyes in anticipation. This was most probably going to be their last kiss and Louis wanted to savour every moment – from the way Harry’s long dark lashes fanned his cheek, to the way his breath hitched as Louis leaned closer.

After long drawn out seconds of memorisation Louis carefully caught Harry’s soft plump lips in his own and sighed as the familiar taste washed over his senses. He slowly ran the tip of his tongue against the pink mounds before running his bottom lip up to catch on Harry’s top lip. The younger boy gasped at the touch and tightened his grip on Louis hands. They had never kissed quite like this before, so much weight being held in the kiss, so much meaning behind it.

He repeated the action, just barely raking his lips against Harry’s and nothing more, before it became too much and he just had to taste the sweetness that was waiting inside. His flickering tongue was accepted easily, met eagerly with Harry’s own as he lost himself in their gentle kiss.

Louis pulled away only when he could no longer breathe. He joined their foreheads and let their ragged breaths mingle as he waited for his heart rate to slow.

“Lou,” Harry sighs and it’s then that he knows he has to do it, before any more can be said.

“I’ve been lying to you!” he blurts out loudly and grimaces as Harry pulls away from him, surprise evident in his wide eyes and open mouth. “I’m really sorry.”

“Have you been seeing someone else?” Harry asked, removing his fingers carefully from Louis tight hold.

“What?! No!” he shook his head vigorously. He was many things apparently but he wasn’t a cheater. He had seen it happen too many times to think anything good could come out of such an act. No, Louis wasn’t a cheater – he was much worse. He was a liar. “Look, I have so much to tell you, but please just hear me out ok. Please listen to the whole story.”

Louis felt sick, pain – and a little of something else - sat clearly in Harry’s eyes as he nodded his agreement to listen.

“Zayn,” Louis paused for breath, “Zayn is friends with Rachel, or rather her sister, but I guess it’s the same girl you were talking about the other night? At the park?”

“Her name was Rachel but –“

“Zayn knows Rachel, knew about you two going out. It was the same story you told me the other night only… only he said that you slept with her. That you made her fall in love with you, got her to sleep with you and then told her you were gay.”

He paused again, waiting for Harry to take it in, the curly haired boy seemed frozen in his spot and could only shake his head slowly in response to what Louis was forcing him to hear. “I was so angry that you, well anyone, could do that because I have sisters right. I wouldn’t want that to happen to them. So when Zayn came up with this ridiculously stupid idea to get back at you and ace his film studies class I agreed. Because I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was putting some cocky little kid in his place, making him feel things for someone just to have them taken away…”

“Wait… I…” Harry’s eyes were tormented and it was all Louis could do not to turn away from the gut wrenching pain they caused him. His head was thick with fog and it was hard to get his thoughts out let alone hope they made sense.

“Sorry, that doesn’t make sense but, just… basically… I was supposed to seduce you, make you fall in love with me and then dump you like you dumped her and Zayn videoed it all, which makes it even worse, because he needed something edgy to pass his film class.”

“Lou…I…” his name fell from Harry in a sob and Louis forced himself to stand, to distance them and hopefully the waves of emotion they were emitting. He pushed his restless hands through his hair and stared down at Harry who refused to take his gaze from where it studied the floor.

“I’m so fucking sorry! Seriously Harry, I had no idea who you were when Zayn brought it up and then I met you and god, you’re so fucking beautiful. I should have known that I’d made a mistake straight away but I told myself that I was doing the right thing and that you weren’t as amazing as you looked because you’d done something really shitty. Only you are! You’re really smart and funny and I know now that the whole Rachel thing was a misunderstanding and it meant a lot to me that you told me and I just hate myself for ruining it all because I like you, a lot, way more than I should and I know that I’ve probably ruined everything between us now but I had to tell you. I can’t lie anymore. I care about you too much to lie and I’m just sorry. Really fucking sorry.” He was out of breath when he stopped and Harry was staring at him, lips parted as if there was something he wanted to say but couldn’t. Seconds of silence stretched between and it was too much for Louis to handle without cracking. The silence said everything. Harry wasn’t jumping up to punch him but he wasn’t jumping up to forgive him either.

“I’m just going to go… I am really sorry Haz.” Louis choked slightly on the nickname as he turned towards the door. Overall it hadn’t been as bad as he thought it might have been. It hadn’t been his best case scenario neither had it been his worse. His dick was still attached to his body after all.

“Do you really?” Harry asked, standing from his frozen position on the edge of his bed. “You care about me?”

“So much.”

“Ok.” It was clear and strong yet Louis was confused. Did he mean ‘ok you can go now’ or ‘ok we can figure this out’? he didn’t want to ask but neither did he want to throw away an opportunity to fix things between them. He had to know.

“Ok?”

“Ok. I care about you too.” Harry strode towards him purposefully and stopped only centimetres away. Louis blinked rapidly as he took in the words and the close proximity and the meaning.

“Really?” his tone was ridiculously hopeful but he didn’t care. This was everything he wanted. Harry with no complications.

“Really.” Harry grinned and lifted his arms to rest on Louis’ relieved shoulders. The older boy matched his smile perfectly, unable to believe his luck.

“No more lies, I promise.” He declared, needing to make the promise, needing to say it out loud. Harry grimaced ever so slightly but before Louis could wonder why, he was pulled in by the hands at his neck and lost in a kiss he never thought he’d get.

 

~12~

 

“Fuck… Harry,” Louis groaned loudly, his fingers buried knuckle deep into his companion’s soft hair. His blood was on fire from the pleasure he was gratefully subjected to.

Harry moaned from his position and it reverberated against Louis’ hard flesh. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. When he had started the day he had felt certain that he would lose Harry, but instead they were closer than ever. The fact that the younger boy had Louis’ dick nestled firmly in his mouth was a testament to the fact that they were going to be ok.

Harry’s tongue was thick and hot as it flicked at the sensitive head of Louis’ erection and Louis made no attempt to hide the raspy, passion filled moans the action elicited. It wasn’t technically the best blow-job he had ever received but it was by far the sexiest. The way Harry’s lips stretched to fit around him, the hollow of his pink cheeks and his impossibly green eyes staring up at him innocently, asking for approval. It was just too much and he was feeling as inexperienced as Harry claimed to be.

“God Harry,” he thrust his hips up into the welcoming heat and felt the familiar stirring in the pit of his stomach. His orgasm pulled at his insides as it threatened to spill over. Louis’ gripped tightened involuntarily causing Harry to gasp in surprise and as his dick bounced against the inside of Harry’s wet cheek he knew it was over. “Ha-“

Harry gagged a little as Louis squirted thick ribbons of warmth into the back of his throat but Louis barely noticed as his body shook his release. His hands slackened in the silky strands of hair he gripped and Harry sheepishly made his way up the bed to join him, wiping his red lips with the back of his hand as he moved.

Louis pulled his trousers back up over his hips and took a few deep, calming breaths before leaning in towards Harry for a kiss as he settled beside him, the taste of himself on Harry’s tongue intoxicating.

“That was…” he trailed off trying to find the right word.

“Sorry it wasn’t better,” the insecure words sunk sadly into Louis’ skin.

“What? No! Harry it was great, amazing actually.” He grinned sideways at the younger boy hoping that he could tell how grateful Louis was for everything. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that!” Harry laughed, some of the tension slipping away.

“Well I do but I meant for everything - I didn’t expect to still have you after today.” It felt so good to be honest with Harry. It felt good to not have to second guess everything he did and said to the boy.

Harry’s eyes darkened slightly before he smiled and nestled in closer to Louis’ relaxed body. The older boy wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist, holding him tight.

“Oh,” he was surprised by the hardness that poked into his hip - not because it was odd for it to be there but because he had forgotten. He had been so caught up with his own orgasmic bliss that he hadn’t thought about Harry and what state he might be in. Slowly he inched his hand down until it rested at his lover’s smooth abdomen, he drew slow, lazy circles with his fingertips as he moved lower, skirting over the boy’s pyjama bottoms to cover the bulge hidden beneath.

“Lou.. You don’t have to, I’m ok.” The rasp in Harry’s breathless voice contradicted his words and only made Louis want to touch him more. At this point he probably couldn’t stop if he actually wanted to.

“I want to. I want to touch you, feel you in my hand, taste you in my mouth..” He trailed off, slightly embarrassed by his brazen need. He moved his hand away from the protuberance and into the waistband of the trousers in one seamless move.

“Fuck. Ok.” Louis shifted until his mouth was clinging to Harry’s trembling lips and his hand was wrapped around his hardness. The elastic of the waistband bit into his wrist but he barely noticed as Harry legs fell apart and the endearing kid groaned into the kiss.

The younger boy was beautiful, spread beside him fully clothed, one hand grasping at the back of Louis’ neck while the other gripped his jerking elbow. Louis liked the slide of their skin and although Harry was large he fit perfectly into the circle of Louis’ hand.

Although Louis had every intention of sucking the younger boy into his mouth he was quickly distracted by Harry’s short breaths around his tongue, the boy’s bruising fingers biting into his skin and his trembling thighs shaking with every slide of Louis’ touch. He vowed to take more time to taste Harry next time but the temptation to make him come apart in his hand was just too strong.

He quickened his firm tugs on Harry’s length and twisted his wrist at the base, a move that had the younger of the two pulling their mouths apart as he groaned wantonly, tipping his head back on the pillow and spilling his dark curls into his eyes. Louis’ own cock twitched at the collective onslaught to his senses but he was too spent to make anything of it.

Louis trailed his redundant tongue along the ridge of collarbone exposed through the neck of Harry’s shirt and blew gently on the wetness left by his actions.

“Oh… Shit… God… O-“ as Harry’s stomach started to quiver, the currents moving like waves through his limbs, Louis knew it was only moments before he’d find his release. With that in mind he nuzzled gently into the crook of the boy’s neck, lined up his mouth and simultaneously sank his teeth into soft, smooth skin and tightened his hand like a vice.

The resulting groan was accompanied by ribbons of warmth trapped between Louis’ fist and the fabric of the fleecy trousers. The image of Harry’s parted lips, squeezed eyelids and flushed, hollowed cheeks had him wanting to stay in the moment forever, because like this he could forget everything that had come before. He could forget the plan and hidden cameras and Zayn fucking Malik and his bright fucking ideas.

As Harry relaxed, Louis pulled his hand free of its entrapment and wiped it carelessly onto the bedspread beside him. He rolled his wrist to escape the pins and needles that had formed in the joint.

Harry twisted until their legs were entwined and his head was curled into Louis’ chest. Neither spoke as their steady breaths filled the air and their eyelids drooped. Louis couldn’t help but feel content as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

*^*^*

Louis was happy. Genuinely happy. He felt all weightless and carefree. His grin had been a permanent fixture all morning, to the point where his drama teacher had chastised him for being too happy in his role as a terminally ill patient and his mum had asked him if she had to be worried about drugs. She didn’t of course, his only drug of choice was Harry. The boy he had fallen asleep with last night and woken up with in the early hours of this morning. The boy he had only left because he needed a change of clothes. The boy he was on his way to the canteen to meet.

When he walked through the double glass doors he spotted Harry straight away, sitting at the table his friends called their own. Zayn was with him, which was of course normal, however they appeared to be in the middle of a heated argument. Harry’s cheeks were stained red as he sat eerily still letting Zayn spit angrily at him. Which is the part Louis couldn’t understand. Harry had every right to be pissed at Zayn, especially after the part he played in the whole revenge scheme – it was after all pretty much his idea. But what did Zayn have to be angry at Harry about? And why was he just standing there taking it?

Before he could analyse further he was spotted and he watched the pair pretend that nothing had happened. When he reached the table he smiled suspiciously and looked between them, hoping for something to jump out at him and tell him what it had all been about. He could only guess that he was involved in some way – he was after all their only connection.

“Everything ok?” he asked as he pulled out a chair to take a seat beside Harry. His lover smiled at him warmly while Zayn laughed and asked why it wouldn’t be. Louis didn’t like the unease he felt in his stomach but he thrust it aside as Harry pushed a tray in front of him.

“I got you lunch,” he told Louis in explanation, which caused a deep ache to surface in his heart. The contents merely consisted of a bowl of chips, a Cornish pasty and a bottle of 7up but the fact that Harry had bought him lunch made something burst inside his chest. Without thought he leant over quickly and caught the taller lads lips in a chaste kiss, sure that his cheeks were flaming.

“Thanks.”

“So I need those tapes back as soon as possible Lou,” Zayn told him, breaking the concentrated stare he shared with Harry.

“I thought we had two weeks still?” Louis spoke around a chip he'd slipped into his mouth and used his eyes to tell Zayn that now was probably a really insensitive time to bring up what they had been doing.

“Nah, I got the dates wrong. I thought it was the 24th but it was actually the 17th, found out this morning. I’ve done most of the work, just need to edit and put those in.” Zayn shrugged and gave a pointed look towards Harry who stared down at his own plate of food.

“Ok, want to come get them tonight? Haz and I were just going to stay at mine and watch a movie.” A pregnant silence fell between them as the two most important boys in his life avoided each other’s stares.

“I can’t tonight. Just bring them in tomorrow yeah?” something wasn’t right and he didn’t like it. He was missing something and it quickly dampened his earlier high spirits. Before he could ask them, again, about what was going on, Niall and Liam joined them at the table. The latter with a disappointed look pointedly sent Louis’ way. Louis shrugged and threw an arm across the back of Harry’s chair. It was both a statement, that he had no intention of being away from Harry and because he physically felt the need to touch.

“What’s up lads?” Niall asked, looking around the table at the four boys. After a brief pause they quickly fell into easier conversation and Harry’s large, warm hand encasing his knee helped Louis forget the earlier tension.

The lunch passed quickly after that, each of them chatting while they ate. It was so normal and guilt free that Louis felt more himself than he had been for weeks. He quickly remembered how to be ‘with’ someone and found it increasingly hard to put any distance between himself and the curly haired boy beside him. Of course that wasn’t helped by the way Harry regularly leant into him and whispered into his ear, casually throwing out comments about what he wanted to do to Louis right there and then as well as the fact that he could still taste the older boy on his tongue. It took all his resolve to listen to the on-going conversation and was glad when the time came for them to part so that he could drag Harry out to the bleachers on the rugby field and have him fulfil some of those rudely delicious intentions.

 

~13~

 

“Have you noticed anything strange going on between Harry and Zayn?” Louis looked expectantly at his Irish friend as they walked out of the university grounds.

“Not really mate, I thought they were getting on fine.” Niall shrugged causing Louis to sigh. He had spent the whole of his English class thinking about the argument he had witnessed at lunch and it still didn’t make sense.

“I saw them fighting earlier,”

“Fighting?”

“..arguing. Zayn was shouting at Harry about something but when they saw me they stopped.” Niall chewed at his lip and shook his head, Louis studied him for a few seconds before concluding that the clueless look the blond wore was real.

“I have no idea sorry man.”

“S’alright it’s just bugging me. What with them fighting and Liam sending me glares… I don’t know.” Louis rolled his eyes and readjusted his shoulder bag, a harsh reminder of the assignment he had to start before Harry came over for the night.

“Awwww I still love ya Tommo,” Niall exclaimed loudly before pouncing on the older boy and smacking a kiss on his cheek.

“Get off!” Louis laughed, shoving at Niall until he was a few feet away. “If that’s how you make a move it’s no wonder you’re single!”

“Fuck off!”

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Niall asked the question at the forefront of his mind.

“So things are going well with Harry?”

“Yeah, yeah they are.” Louis’ answering grin was involuntary but natural. “I still can’t believe he’s not bothered by the whole stupid revenge thing. I mean if that was me… I dunno. I’d be pissed. But he just accepts it you know.”

“You’re a lucky bastard Lou, I honestly thought he’d kick you to the curb.” Niall laughed.

“Thanks mate, really!” his sarcasm was obvious but lost on the blond that ignored the familiar tone. “I am. I mean what were the chances right?”

“Did you ever get to the bottom of the Rachel thing? That was the whole point right?” It was rare that Niall was the voice of reason but Louis knew it as one of his best qualities. Although he joked around a lot and played the airhead role a little too well, he was one of the most caring people Louis knew.

“It mostly happened the way we thought, although he said he never slept with her and I believe him. I think he was just confused about being gay so it’s shitty but an honest misunderstanding.” His words had him drawn back to the conversation they had had on the swings which in turn had him thinking about the elusive man. The one that had brought Harry to the realisation that he liked men. Louis didn’t often think about it but when he did it left a sour taste in his mouth. What if that man made an appearance? Did Harry still like him? Would Harry dump Louis? He forcefully shoved the thought away. He was lucky to be at a place with Harry where they were happy and he had to stop trying to make trouble for them and just enjoy it.

“Well this is me,” Niall spoke, gesturing to the corner where they usually parted ways and pulling Louis from his thoughts.

“Right, see you tomorrow man.” With a little wave Louis was on track for the five minute walk to his house.

It was too easy to think when he was alone. His mind liked to replay conversations and events, analyse them to see what he could have done differently, better.

For the last few weeks his thoughts were predominately about Harry, accompanied with a side of guilt and unease. Whereas now, although his thoughts were still about Harry, they were focused on the pink of the boys lips as he smiled or the way he tipped his head back when he laughed, his beautiful fucking eyes or his goddamn silky curls. Snippets of their time together flashed like screenshots every time he had the space to think and he didn’t mind at all.

When he got home a few minutes later his mum was in the kitchen fixing tea.

“Alright love?” She asked as Louis slung his bag down onto the floor and slipped into a chair at the kitchen table. He nodded when she gestured to her steaming cup and watched as she went about fixing him his own mug.

“Harry’s coming over tonight.” He stated. Although Jay had an open house policy for her son Louis had always told her who and when he was bringing someone into their home. 

 

“Things are going well with him?” Jay asked as she placed both cups onto the table and took a seat herself.

“Yeah, really good.” Louis eyes shone with truth and his mother grinned.

“He seems nice,” it was more question than statement and he knew it was just her way of looking out for him.

“He is…” Louis laughed loudly at Jay’s knowing look and sipped at his drink so as not to say anything he would regret.

“As long as you’re happy love.” They silently drank their tea for a few moments before conversation fell onto more familiar things - like the twins ballet recital and Lottie’s new boyfriend that neither of them approved off.

Tea finished, Louis stood from his seat, placed a firm kiss onto his mum’s head and made his way upstairs to freshen up for Harry’s arrival and start that stupid bloody essay.

He took extra time in the shower and even straightened his bed sheets. Excitement bubbled in his chest at the mere thought of spending the evening with Harry and he revelled in it. He didn’t have to push the feeling aside anymore. He could enjoy it and he still couldn’t believe how good it felt. Against all odds it had worked out in the end. He had Harry and Zayn had enough material to pull something together for his film class.

Unfortunately the only person it hadn’t worked out for was Rachel. She still had her heart broken but she hadn’t got the revenge the boys had tried to enact in her honour. He didn’t, however let himself worry about it too much - she had lied to them about sleeping with Harry after all.

He had just switched on the latest White Cream album when he heard a knock at his door and Harry poked his head around it, a broad grin on his face.

“Hey,” Louis greeted meeting the brown haired boy in the middle of the room for a lingering kiss.

“Hey yourself,” Harry pulled away and surveyed the room raising an eyebrow when he recognised the song.

“White Cream?”

“You like them right? I thought you mentioned liking them,” Louis winced at his eager tone and worried he had gotten it wrong. Until that is he was the recipient of a soft kiss and found himself being pulled onto his bed and into Harry’s arms.

“Do remember that guy I told you about?” Harry whispered, breaking the silence that had spread between them as they listened to the song.

“The one that made you gay?” Harry’s answer was a bellowing laugh as he nodded into the crook of Louis’ arm.

“Yeah that one. The first time I saw him was at their last concert.” His tone was wistful and Louis’ stomach rolled. He had Harry in his arms, listening to his favourite band and the kid was talking about some other guy. He felt sick with jealousy, which he knew was ridiculous but he just couldn’t help it.

“Oh,” he choked, the word grating at his lips as it left. It was much more morose than he had planned and caused Harry to look up at him with large wide eyes.

“You ok?”

“Yeah of course. Just thinking about how glad I am you realised you were gay.” Louis smiled to hide the half-truth. He was glad, extremely glad, but it hadn’t been what he was thinking at all.

Harry pressed a kiss into Louis’ shirt covered chest and the older boy mentally shrugged off his earlier discomfort. That other boy didn’t matter. What mattered was that they were together now.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea…” Harry stared at him curiously as Louis stretched across the mattress to grab the video camera from the table at the side of the bed.

“Oh no… No way!” Harry shook his head vehemently and started to push himself away from his human pillow. A human pillow that was laughing heartily at his boy’s reaction.

“Wait… What is it you think I’m proposing here?” Louis asked between laughs and grabbed at Harry’s shoulder to keep them sidled together.

Harry blushed, his mind had clearly been on the dirtiest of ideas, and stumbled around his words. “I don’t know… But I’m not up for doing anything involving that thing!”

“Relax,” Louis wrestled himself into an almost sitting position and drew Harry into a searing kiss. It was awkward and his neck hurt from the angle but he couldn’t get enough. He pulled back only when he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop if it went on any longer.

“I thought,” Louis started, his voice rough, “that we could do my last video diary together…”

“Just talking?” Harry asked suspiciously, eyebrow cocked and eyes twinkling.

“Yes you bloody pervert! Come here!” Louis rearranged them so that their heads were level and their sides were pressed firmly together. With practised ease he flipped the camera on and aimed it until they could both be seen on screen.

“Hello!” Louis smiled into the lens. “This is my last video diary and I thought now would be a good time to introduce you to Harry.”

Louis angled the camera and zoomed in as close as he could to his lover. “Say hi Harry.”

“Hi.” The word was long and drawn out with a slight lift in the middle and Louis was going to beg Zayn for a copy of the tape when he was done with it.

“I realise you are probably wondering why he’s here and why I’m so happy but you see the thing is - I told him. I confessed all of it and he forgave me and we’re giving this –us- a go. The honest way. Right Haz?”

“Um… Yeah right.” Harry smiled but his eyes were pained. Louis however was oblivious as he grinned smugly.

“It’s because he can’t live without my gorgeous face and cunning wit, right Haz?” This time Harry’s soft smile met his eyes and his adoration swam off of him in waves.

“Definitely right, I mean how could I say no to this?” Harry reached over, crossing their bodies to grip at Louis’ chin before giving it a shake.

“Get off!” Louis laughed and proceeded to launch himself at the chuckling taller boy, the camera fell to the edge of the bed as he did so. He landed with a thud against Harry’s shaking chest and attacked the boy with his fingers as he giggled in protest.

“Who do you think you are eh? My gran?” Louis asked, his fingers raking at Harry’s sides as he tried to buck him off.

“No! No stop! The…very last…thing I think…I am is your… Fucking gran!” Harry was breathless and rucking against him and Louis couldn’t resist the opportunity presented to him. Moving his hands to pin Harry’s arms above his head Louis lowered his body until their torsos were flush and leant in, tongue licking at his lips. Harry gazed up intently, his chest rising expectantly against Louis’ rib cage.

“Oh! Don’t let me interrupt!” A deep voice broke the sexual tension between them and had Louis rolling off of Harry and sitting up quickly.

“I thought you weren’t coming over.” Louis stated as Zayn remained stood in the open doorway.

“Clearly,” Zayn’s dark eyes narrowed as he looked between them, noting Harry’s sudden discomfort. “I was working on the film and needed the footage so I thought I’d just come and get it.”

“Right, ok.” Louis stared at his friend in confusion and grabbed the discarded camera before holding it out for Zayn to take. Which he did after slowly entering the room.

“Are you coming to the show on Thursday?” Zayn asked, turning the camera over in his hand repeatedly.

“Actually I was hoping to take Louis out on that night.” Harry interrupted. Louis looked between the two and was reminded of lunchtime. The way Zayn’s chin lifted and Harry’s eyes narrowed confirmed that there was something deeper going on than a friendly tiff.

“We could go out another night though right?” Louis reasoned, trying to keep the peace between the two.

“The thing is only on on Thursday, I wanted it to be a surprise.” Harry answered coolly, he clearly had no intention of backing down and by the tone in his voice as he answered neither had Zayn.

“What is it?”

“None of your business…” Louis stood up and stared between them as they faced off. He’d seen Zayn angry plenty of times and this was undoubtedly one of them, he just wished he knew what was wrong so that he could do something to fix it. And Harry, he wore a look that was new for Louis, it was insanely hot but it didn’t suit the boy at all. In that moment Louis knew he would do anything to make him smile again.

“Louis agreed to come before he even met you so I think that should have priority.” 

“And I think that I don’t want to be reminded in film about how you tried to screw me over!” Harry moved onto his knees as he shouted the words at Zayn. He looked ready to pounce and Louis would try to stop him if he wasn’t still weighed down by the guilt of the words hanging in the air. Maybe Harry hadn’t truly forgiven him after all.

“Really Harry? It’s about YOU being screwed over?” Zayn lifted a well-manicured eyebrow and silence ensued from his heavy words. It was all too much for Louis to make sense of.

“Guys just stop!” He pleaded, completely lost and showing as much in his confounded tone and defeated body.

“You know what? forget it! See you tomorrow Lou!” Zayn turned around quickly and stalked out of the door before Louis could stop him, although if he was honest with himself he wasn’t sure if he would have. He had no idea what was going on and as a result he had no idea as to who’s side he should be on. He turned to Harry who was sat slumped on his knees, his face buried in his hands.

“Ok. What the hell is going on between you and Zayn?”

 

~14~

 

Louis pulled his vibrating phone from his back pocket and puffed out a quick hello. He was running late and his legs were working overtime to get him to the campus before Zayn’s film was shown. He had spent the week yo-yoing between the two boys and had finally compromised with Zayn that he would see the showing of the film before meeting Harry to go out.

Although he had confronted his boyfriend, he thinks he can call him that now even though they hadn’t particularly had ‘the talk’, he had been quickly distracted by denials and blow-jobs. Louis still thought there was something remiss about the two, but it was easier to ignore it for the time being. For now he would cheer Zayn on and then meet Harry back at his flat for their secret date. And if the younger boy didn’t know that he was going to the showcase, that was ok… right? It was more an omission than a lie and Harry had kind of put in the position in the first place.

“Are you coming? it’s about to start!” Zayn’s voice was hushed and there was obvious commotion going on in the background.

“I’m almost there mate, give me two minutes!” although it would probably take closer to five.

“You’ve got one! I’m about to go and give my speech!” his best mate hissed at him down the phone and Louis rolled his eyes but set himself into more of a jog than the brisk walk he had been doing.

“Well if you hadn’t moved it forward we wouldn’t have been having this problem!”

“Well if you hadn’t chosen your boyfriend over me I wouldn’t have had to!” It wasn’t true of course. Louis hadn’t actually agreed to go out with Harry before Zayn had called him and explained that he’d brought his film showing forward so that Louis could make it. It was sweet of Zayn really, although Louis didn’t see what the fuss was all about. He could just as easily watch it at home if he was given a copy. Still, he wanted to support Zayn the way he had supported him throughout the whole ‘getting revenge on Harry’ mess.

“Shut up! I’m almost there!” the call was ended and Louis grasped his cell as he quickened his jog into a run and headed for the auditorium.

If he was being honest, and he tried to be honest as much as possible lately, he could admit that he had mixed feelings about watching Zayn’s film. He was positive that his friend had done a good job, he was exceedingly talented after all, but there was a sense of unease sitting at the base of his spine. Things were going well for him at the moment. He had Harry and they were getting on well, growing closer and closer every day. He actually found it quite hard to believe that he was lucky enough to deserve someone like him in his life. And the thing was he didn’t want to be reminded about how it all started. They seemed to have put things to rest between them. They never mentioned Rachel or the mysterious boy or the fact that Louis had set out to seduce him as part of some asinine plan to seek revenge. They never mentioned the beginning at all really and that seemed to work well for them. Louis wasn’t riddled with guilt, Harry really didn’t seem that hurt and they were happy. Young and in love as his mother would say. Louis himself would swap around the ‘L’ word and substitute love for lust because they hadn’t been together long and the idea of love scared the shit out of him at the moment. No, that dull ache he carried around in his chest, the one that only eased with Harry’s presence, was definitely only lust. So the idea of seeing himself laid bare, of everyone seeing how they had begun and what Louis had been willing to do, left him with a sour taste.

However maybe it was a good thing. Maybe he’d watch it and realise that it hadn’t been as bad as he thought. Maybe he’d watch it and feel vindicated that he had made some good choices along the way - that actually his reason for potentially hurting Harry had been just. And maybe, he could spend the time watching Harry rather than actually paying attention to what a twat he had been, and that was a definite plus.

He rounded the corner, cool night air scraping at his lungs as he tried to calm his breathing, and slowed into a walk. The large, double doors were open and he took that as a good sign, that he probably hadn’t really missed anything. It was dimly lit inside but as he found a place to rest at the back he could see Zayn standing nervously at the podium. He’d made it just in time for his friend to introduce his piece. 

“So, yeah, this is my short film called ‘the things we do for love’. I hope you enjoy it.” The dark haired boy stepped back from the microphone and Louis watched his eyes scan the crowd. It was obvious that Zayn was looking for him and he would have waved if he had thought that Zayn would spot him from where he was. Instead Louis’ attention was caught by the lights turning to black and the large screen flashing to life.

“Hi I’m Harry styles and I think I’m in love. The only problem is I’ve never met him and he doesn’t know I exist.” Louis stared wide eyed as the face of his boyfriend filled the screen and looked out at the hundred or so people watching the show. He noticed that his hair was shorter than Louis had ever seen it, so this was recorded before they had met. He was staring directly down the lens, his green eyes sparkling with something - nerves maybe, as he spoke and it was so unexpected that Louis was frozen.

It was supposed to be his face plastered across the screen. It was supposed to be his turmoil being spread before the audience. What was Harry doing? Was he talking about the mysterious boy? The one that plaques Louis’ mind on a regular basis or someone else? because there was no way he was talking about Louis. Louis definitely knew Harry existed and was very grateful for the fact. So what was going on?

“The first time I saw him was at a concert. It was this little indie band called White Cream and I’d gone on my own because none of my friends like them. I was just standing against the wall nursing a beer and keeping to myself when I saw him. He was really into the band, kind of jumping up and down to the music and grinning so big that I just couldn’t not watch him.” Something was happening inside Louis’ chest and it was the only thing he could actually feel because the rest of him was numb. He was vaguely aware of Zayn climbing up the steps to get to him but there was nothing he could do but stand and stare as Harry’s voice carried throughout the room.

“I watched him for a while, captivated really, and that was strange for me because before then I’d never really fancied a boy. I didn’t even know that I was capable of it and I had a girlfriend so it was all just really confusing. Because there I was studying the lines of this boy’s lips and the way his shirt lifted to expose a small strip of toned stomach.” Louis heart thudded in its prison of bone. It was about the mystery boy after all, and in great detail. It was obvious to everyone watching just how enamoured Harry was with the guy he was describing. Louis was suddenly, painfully aware of why Harry hadn’t wanted him to watch and why he had been arguing with Zayn. Harry wasn’t hurt by what Louis had done because he was just biding time. Using Louis until he could get with his mystery man.

Zayn reached him just as he covered his mouth with a shaky hand, desperately trying not to throw up the bile that was gathering at the back of his throat. How could he have been so stupid?

“Lou…” Louis shook his head but kept his eyes trained on the pixelated image of his so-called boyfriend.

“I didn’t do anything that night, but I never stopped thinking about him.” Harry continued, earnestly staring out to the audience. “He’d always be in the back of my mind, even when I had so much more that I should have been thinking about. Like starting university and spending time with my girlfriend. Then a week into freshman classes I saw him again. Just walking down the halls with his friend and I couldn’t believe my luck because not only was he here, in the same place as me, as beautiful as ever. But I knew the guy he was walking with, our mums were friends and we went to the same school before he’d left town.”

“Lou…” Zayn tried again to get his friends attention but Louis’ attention was rapt. He barely blinked for fear of missing something. Missing some kind of clue as to what it was Harry was trying to say. Who he was referring to.

“So I broke up with my girlfriend, got Zayn’s number from my mum and convinced him to help me get his friend Louis to fall in love with me. This film is going to be about what happens and whether I succeed. I have to be honest here, I’m hoping for a happy ending.” Harry grinned bright and hopeful as the crowd swooned. The young lad had won them over in just a few minutes, while at the same time shattered everything Louis believed in.

On the one hand, Louis was the guy, weirdly confirmed by one small sentence. He was the mystery man and while he should have been enjoying the moment he couldn’t. Because everything else was a lie. He had been a pawn in their game. He had been played liked a lonely fiddle and everyone was going to know it. He was a fucking idiot.

As Harry faded from the screen a new scene filled the space. One of Louis and Niall sitting at lunch as Zayn starts to talk about this poor girl called Rachel who got her heart broken. It was too much. He couldn’t watch anymore and as Zayn reached for him Louis spun on his heel and ran from the auditorium as quickly as he could. Paying no mind to the shoulders he brushed on his way past or the glares sent straight to his retreating back.

The cold air was a welcome slap to his equilibrium but it didn’t slow him down. He had to get away and after that he had no idea. Getting away was priority. However he only made it as far as the back of the building before he was bent over at the waist and emptying his stomach onto the balding turf. Shame and embarrassment and pure undiluted hurt coming up through his throat and pushing past his lips.

“Louis?” the last thing he expected was for it to be Harry that called his name and he purposefully set his jaw before turning to face him. 

“Fuck you,” he choked out, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand and spotting Zayn standing beside his betrayer, “and fuck you too."

 

~15~

 

He had every right to feel betrayed. He had put himself on the line for Harry. He had fought with himself everyday, denied his attraction to the boy until he thought he was crazy. He had been honest when he stood the risk of losing everything, all the things that made him happy. Honesty was such a big thing, it was behind everything he did, everything he said. And to find out that Harry wasn’t honest with him… that was the kicker. He had been honest and Harry had not. Therefore he had every right to feel betrayed. 

Harry took a slow step forward and in effect Louis took one back. It seemed surreal to him that he was in this situation. When he had left the house that evening he hadn’t seen this coming. Admittedly he’d been stupid to think it could have worked between them. For one he had entered the relationship on a lie and now, even when he had tried to fix that, here they were. Still caught up in a tangled web of deceit. There was a part of him that had always known Harry was too good to be true. He had desperately wanted it to be wrong but as it turns out he had the shittiest luck.

“Lou, mate…” Louis had forgotten, for a moment, that Zayn was there and although he didn’t try to step forward he raised his arms out to Louis, palms flat, as if trying to calm a wild animal. Which in some ways he was. Louis’ emotions made him unpredictable and Zayn knew from experience that he was treading on paper thin ice. Louis could see the hesitation in his friend’s steady, dark gaze and something about it made him burst with anger.

“No! Don’t call me your mate when you were a part of this!” He shouted, “that’s not what friends do!”

“I tried to tell you!” Zayn pleaded, arms remaining outstretched but slackening with the distraction of Louis’ full force aimed directly at him. They had been friends for a long time and he didn’t want to lose Louis like this. Not with him believing that Zayn didn’t care, because if he was honest Zayn cared more about Louis than most other people in his life. Just not the way people often expected. 

There was no doubt that he had made a mistake going along with Harry’s plan. But the boy had come up to him, cheeks full of pink and eyes full of hope and he couldn’t say no. He had honestly thought he was helping Louis out. His friend never made an effort to find someone to make him happy and Harry was cute and nice and Zayn really didn’t see the harm. Until he realised that Harry hadn’t told the truth when he’d had the chance. 

Zayn really had tried to tell Louis, but if he were honest he’d been too scared to try too hard. He had taken Harry’s presence as reason enough to keep his mouth shut and convinced himself that Harry would do the right thing and everyone would come out the other side of the this whole mess unscathed. He was obviously terribly wrong and terribly, terribly naive.

“Not very hard! Did you really think this was the best way for me to find out? To stand there with a bunch of strangers and discover it was all a lie!” Louis paused for breath before scoffing. Rolling his eyes mockingly as the all too recent events circled his thoughts. “I swear I am the biggest fucking idiot! You could have stopped this! You could have saved me the humiliation but you didn’t. And I never stood a chance because I never saw this coming at all.” Louis pointed a shaky finger towards his friend. The betrayal sat deep in the cavity of his empty stomach and he was unsure if it would ever be light enough for him to ignore. It was much more likely to be a constant presence. A reminder that he should never lay his heart on the line. That he should never trust something that seemed too perfect. That he should never give someone the power to hurt him.

“I did try Lou, I tried to get Harry to tell you but he wouldn’t! I tried to tell you myself but you were always with him! In the end I thought this was the only way.”

“It wasn’t. This could have played out so differently if you’d just told me.” Louis stared earnestly, the truth of his statement bouncing between them starkly. “I feel so stupid. Fucking pathetic Louis Tomlinson needs his friend to get him a pity fuck - while the bastard records it all for a good mark in his film class. Hope that works well for you Zayn, really, you deserve a fucking A plus!” Venom dripped off his tongue, the anger too much, too fresh for him to be able to worry about whether his words were true or what long term effects they might have. He was trembling as he stared, unmoving, while Zayn shifted on his feet in disbelief.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But this was never about getting an A or making you feel like an idiot. I hope that when you calm down you’ll see that, because you’re my best friend and I love you.” The soft words hung in the air between them, a direct contrast to the scathing insults slung out from the eldest boy. With a heartfelt sigh Zayn turned and walked away, knowing there was nothing he could do or say in that moment to rectify things.

Louis watched him leave. Surprised that his friend was going to just give up so easily. Was he not worth more? Was his friendship not worth the fight? Just as Louis had started to think he couldn’t hurt anymore, he felt the loss like a heavy weight pressing down on his shoulders. Because of one stupid plan, one silly idea that bred into deceit, he’d lost his closest friend and potential love of his life.

“Louis,” Harry’s voice was rough as it filtered between them, as though the name had to fight its way past his lips. Their eyes met in a silent stand off, neither wanting to make a move but both knowing that one of them had too.

“Don’t, please don’t Harry, I can’t! I… What are you even doing here?” Louis sighed, ran a hand through his hair and turned his body off to the side, a vain attempt at shielding himself from Harry’s piercing gaze and any further potential pain.

“I was early picking you up - your mum told me where you were,” Harry’s voice caught as he spoke, raw emotion choking him. Louis couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was done, spent, he didn’t have it in him to invest himself in Harry anymore.

“So you hadn’t planned to see me made a fool of then? It just happened?”

“Louis stop!” The pair froze, surprised by the firmness in the younger boys words, “It wasn’t like that! I tried everything to keep you away from this screening, I didn’t want you to find out like that,”

“You didn’t want me to find out at all!” His voice rang out loud and clear through the darkening air, his anger manifesting into a vicious bite. Harry staggered back, hand covering his heart as he shook his head. 

It had never been part of the plan for this to happen. Louis wasn’t supposed to find out the way he had. Harry had envisioned breaking the news over a candle lit dinner, while professing words of love. He had imagined Louis forgiving him easily, covering his jaw in feather light kisses and confessing love of his own. Instead they were standing metres apart, the sun quickly disappearing, after Louis having endured such an humiliating experience. Because of him. Because of his own insecurities and fear. Louis had suffered at his hands and he couldn’t blame him for how he felt, he just wished it had all happened differently. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” whispered words. So many different feelings ribboned around them, changing so quickly from 0 to 60 and back again.

“But you did! All this time I thought I was this horrible person because of what we were doing to you! Everyday I fought with what I was feeling, convincing myself that it didn’t go beyond attraction because it shouldn’t! I took a huge risk telling you the truth and like a fucking prick I was so happy when you forgave me! I thought that meant that I deserved it, that I deserved you and god, fuck Harry, how could you do this?” His ‘to me’ was left unsaid as his voice petered out and his vision clouded. 

There he was laying himself bare again.

“I wanted to tell you. I came close so many times but I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t. Because ever since I saw you smile at that fucking concert I’ve been head over heels. I had an existential crisis over a boy I never thought I’d see again and then suddenly there he was hanging around with someone I actually kind of knew,” Harry punctuated each word with a step, slowly closing the gap between them.

“Why didn’t you just come and say hi? Why be so underhanded?”

“It wasn’t about being underhand, it was about preservation. Before I got the courage to seek out Zayn I practically stalked you. And the more I saw you laugh with your friends or smile at practically nothing or bounce as you walked, the more scared I was.” Harry reached out a hand to cup Louis’ elbow and when it wasn’t shrugged away he took one final step. “You think it was about making you look like an idiot,” he told the older boy, desperation seeping through his gaze and clutching, tightly, to the hope that Louis would forgive him. “but Lou that never even crossed my mind! I didn’t want myself to look like an idiot! I’d never liked a boy before! Never! And I guess I didn’t want to be rejected first time out. I thought that this way, this way, if by the time it ended you didn’t like me then no harm no fail. I never expected to love you like I do but I had hoped that you would start to like me back.”

“You should have told me the truth,” Louis whispered. Harry’s touch had ignited a spark of warmth in his heart but he didn’t know if he could trust his words. He had been drawn in before and he couldn’t afford to make the same mistake again.

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I can get over it,”

“Louis,” Harry pleaded.

“I just… Right now I feel pretty stupid, and I feel pretty angry about what you did. I don’t know what to believe and I just…” strong fingers laced into his own and the hold was so familiar he almost felt his body sigh with it. It was a reminder of everything he was giving up, he just didn’t know how he was supposed to get past it without taking some time away from it all. Of course part of him was screaming, begging him to lean forward just a little and wrap his arms around the taller boy. But a bigger part, the more important part was building a wall around his heart, a wall designed to keep Harry out.

“I know the circumstance wasn’t ideal but I never lied to you otherwise. Every touch, every kiss, every smile. That was me and what you did to me. I never lied about any of that.”

“Ok.” Louis accepted the statement easily but it really didn’t change anything. He was beyond listening and more than anything he wanted to leave. He wanted to rip off the band aid instead of letting it tear at him piece by piece. “I just think, we should be apart for a while. It’s so hard to look at you right now Haz, I can’t…”

Louis’ words were quickly swallowed by the desperate kiss of a desolate man. Cracked lips pushed against his own, seeking something he wasn’t able to give. However that didn’t stop him from allowing it to happen. For a few seconds at least he let his heart pick up speed and he let sweat line his palms. He let himself memorise the feel of fingers biting into his skin and the taste of salty wetness, origin unknown. 

But then he was pushing back. Stepping away and creating a void between them. His heart hammered and his throat was dry. He wanted so badly to rewind the clock. To know what he knew now and do it all again with very different results.

“I love you,” Harry confessed as he choked on a sob. 

“I… have to go,” and before he could think anymore he turned and ran. His feet pounding the pavement in time with his rapidly beating heart as he willed himself not to look back.

 

~16~

 

By the time Louis collapsed against his front door - his knees tucked up to his chest and his head buried between them - tears streamed down his face. He chastised himself mentally for being so weak, for crying over something so small and trivial. But that didn’t stop him from feeling the loss. There was a large gaping hole where Harry had been and it was suspiciously close to his heart.

It was ridiculous really. In the grand scheme of things they hadn’t known each other that long, a little under two months if you went right back to the beginning. And if you took away the whole seduction/video debacle then nothing of significance had happened to make him feel the way he did.

Louis could reason, from past relationships, that at this point he should be able to shrug it off. He should be able to say he tried but it hadn’t worked out and then move on. He had never been so deeply invested so early on before and he didn’t know why.

Admittedly Harry was probably the most attractive partner he’d ever had, but Louis liked to think he saw more in a person than their appearance. So it couldn’t be just simple attraction that caused the ache in his chest. It had to be the other things. The little things that were instantly there the moment they met. The electric touches, the easy grins, the comfort and sense of belonging. Their friends had gotten along so quickly and everything was effortless between them, natural. Once you took out the lies.

Only how could he? The lies between them were huge. It couldn’t be easily forgotten that Louis had agreed to take part in their poor scheme of revenge, he had intended to break Harry’s heart purposefully. He sometimes, mostly when alone at night, wondered if he would have done it if he hadn’t fallen for the younger boy’s charms. If the guy had been less attractive or harder to get along with would he have gone through with it? Was that the type of person he was?

Louis wasn’t innocent in all this and he knew that. He thinks, although he can’t be sure, that if Harry had confessed at the same time as him that everything would be ok. They would have forgiven each other and they’d be together now laughing at Zayn’s film. A cute reminder of how they got together.

Unfortunately, Harry didn’t confess and therein lies the problem.

The thing is; Louis knows what it’s like to be on the deceiving end. He knows how hard it is to find the words, to tell the truth. He knows how scary it seems to know that you could lose something and how easy it is to keep it bottled up inside.

He supposed that was the difference between him and Harry. Louis took the chance. He stayed true to himself and chose honesty while Harry hadn’t. He wasn’t sure how that made him feel.

Because on the other side, he now knew what it felt like to be deceived. And it hurt. It hurt more to know that Harry had had a chance and didn’t take it. Harry had preferred to lie to him rather than come clean. He had risked their relationship. Chosen to lie and if he had lied about that what else had he lied about?

Louis had believed his story about Rachel but what if that was false too? Was Louis really the guy that made Harry question his sexuality? Where had the lies begun and where did they end?

Had Harry meant his parting words?

Those three syllables ran in circles through his mind. iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou. Was it possible that Harry really did love him? Could he let himself believe it? Could he set himself up for more heartbreak by giving himself over to the younger lad, not knowing what was real and what was pretend.

There was no doubt that Louis wanted to believe him. At face value it was the perfect little story. Boy falls in love with boy and does whatever he can to make him his. That was fucking movie material right there. But he just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was a laughing stock. They’d all kept a secret from him and laughed behind his back and talked to him while knowing that his relationship was a farce.

He forced himself to dry his tears, wiping clumsily at his eyes with the back of his hand, and pushed himself to his feet. The house was quiet, something he could notice now that he could take in his surroundings, and vaguely remembered his mum talking about taking the girls out for the night. He’d never been so grateful. He loved his mum but she’d only have to look at him to know something was wrong and he didn’t need that kind of insight tonight.

He shuffled his way up the stairs and while he contemplated taking a shower decided against it. The only thing he wanted to do was bury himself in his duvet and sleep. He could only hope that tomorrow his mind wouldn’t be so clouded.

*^*^*

“Louis… Lou wake up sweetheart,” Louis groaned into his pillow and pulled his duvet further over his head. He didn’t want to wake up, everything was ok in his dreams.

“Come on Lou-bear I have tea… and toast.” The bed dipped as his mum sat herself down on the edge. A statement in itself that she wasn’t going anywhere. In a childish act of defiance he kicked at her thigh before conceding and worming his way up until his head poked out from the top of his covers. Louis squinted at his mum with disapproval dripping from his eyes before noticing that she did in fact have a steaming cup of tea in hand. He sat up until his back was pressed against the wall and took the offered cup.

Jay waited only a few moments before speaking up. “So the house phone has been ringing non-stop all morning.”

Louis was not fooled by her casualness. “Yeah?”

“He seems a bit desperate to talk to you honey. What’s going on? Last I saw him he was coming to pick you up for a special night out.”

And before he knew what he was doing, as the tea warmed his hands, he was telling her everything. Every thought that had plagued his mind came tumbling through his lips until he had nothing left to say.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jay sighed and ran a hand comfortingly along Louis’ duvet covered leg.

“I just feel like an idiot and now I don’t know what to do.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled sadly. It had helped a little to get it off of his chest but he still didn’t have the answers.

“Do you love him?” her question shocked him. He wasn’t sure how she derived the question from what he had told her and he had no idea of the answer.

“No… maybe… I…” Louis sighed. His denial felt all wrong. “I don’t know. Its too soon isn’t it? To be in love?”

“There’s no rule for love honey. Some people fall in love slowly, for some it’s instant. You’re the only one to determine whether you love him or not.”

“But what if I really don’t know?”

“Then that’s ok. But are you sure you’re not just hiding?”

Silence fell between them as Louis took in his mum’s words. Denying his love for the younger boy felt wrong but he didn’t want to say that he was either. And would it really matter if he did love Harry? Wouldn’t it just make everything that much worse?

“I’ll leave you to your thoughts sweetheart. But maybe if you aren’t sure about your feelings, are you sure about his?” Jay patted his leg once more before lifting the cup and untouched plate from her son and leaving the room. Louis waited a few seconds before releasing a long suffering groan and buried himself back under the covers. He knew he’d have to get up at some point, if only to change out of the clothes he had slept in from the night before. But honestly he didn’t have the will to move because whatever release he felt from opening up to his mum was now overshadowed by new thoughts and choices he didn’t want to make.

He spent the day alternating between browsing the internet, listening to music - nothing White Cream related - and basically doing anything that involved not thinking. And he was doing a great job of it until there was a tentative knock on his door.

“Come in!” he shouted, expecting it to be one of his sisters. He was more than surprised when it was Liam stepping over the threshold and waving at him sheepishly.

“Hey,”

“What are you doing here?”

“I was just hoping we could talk.” Louis rolled his eyes but motioned for Liam to come in further.

He was far from eager to see the other boy. The Northerner was Harry’s friend and Liam had made it obvious that he didn’t like Louis. He distinctly remembered being warned to stay away. Maybe he should have listened.

“So what do you want?” he squared his shoulders and tilted his jaw, ready for whatever was coming his way. “To tell me you told me so? That I should have let Harry go when I had the chance? Let me guess… that you knew all along right? I bet you had a right laugh?”

“Louis. Nobody was laughing at you. I tried to warn you for your own sake. I didn’t agree with what they were doing to you.” Liam stepped forward carefully, testing the waters between them.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t my place.”

“You know, it’s funny that nobody agreed with what was going on but nobody felt it was their place to stop it. What’s funnier is that I did try. I stopped my part in it while you were all more than happy to let it continue. To let him lie to me like that. I don’t know why you’re here or what you came for but I really don’t care. Can you just fucking leave please, and tell Harry to stop calling here - it’s upsetting my mum.” Louis turned to face the window with laboured breath. Liam didn’t deserve all the anger that Louis aimed towards him but unfortunately he was the only one there to take it.

“For what it’s worth he really does care about you, he has for a long time. After just a week of knowing him he was telling me all about you. He compared everyone he met to you and everything was judged in terms of whether he thought you - who’d he never actually met - would like it or not... I warned him against the plan you know, for what’s it worth, but he was blinded by the idea of getting to know you and never really looked beyond that.” Liam spoke in soft, kind words that clawed at his chest. It was too easy to picture Harry doing exactly that, he exuded childish excitement and Louis was reminded all too quickly of the reasons he fell in so deep with Harry in the first place.

“He hurt me,” Louis’ shoulders drooped in defeat. There were so many things practically yelling at him to get over it and he wanted to, more than anything. Just he couldn’t stop the nagging at the back of his brain rolling out a stream of ‘what ifs’.

“That wasn’t his intention. He’s devastated about what’s happened and he doesn’t blame you for not wanting to see him. He doesn’t even expect you to forgive him. He just hopes that you will.” They fell into silence as Louis absorbed the words.

“Ok.”

"Right… well… um I brought this… I thought you should see it all… and… yeah, I’ll leave you too it.” Liam threw something over onto Louis’ bed and closed the door behind him as he left. It took only a few seconds for Louis to cross to where it lay and his stomach bottomed out when he saw the DVD, ‘the things we do for love’ written across it in Zayn’s loopy handwriting.

There sat another choice he had to make. Should it watch it or not?

~Interlude~

 

“So Zayn gave me this camera and suggested I do a video diary of this whole thing. I feel kind of stupid talking to myself but he’s the boss so… he said that the first step went ahead today, he told Louis about the Rachel thing and got him on board - which is great.

I’m still not sure it was the best story to use. I want Louis to like me, not think I’m a giant tosser. Zayn says it will work though, that to get Louis interested we had to choose something he would feel strongly about and douche bag guys seems to be one of those things.

I can’t believe that I’ll actually get to talk to him. I’ve imagined it so many times, what I’ll say - how I can impress him and get him to like me and this way he’ll be doing a lot of the work so hopefully that reduces the risk of me making a fool of myself. I don’t know.

I guess… I’m excited but I’m terrified. What if he doesn’t like me? What if this doesn’t work and he sees me as that weird kid with frizzy hair that hurt a girl?”

*^*^*

“Ok, I couldn’t wait to get home and do this thing because today Louis spoke to me, like actually spoke to me. He knows I exist and it’s unreal because I’ve watched him for so long - like stalker long and he never once looked back, but today he bumped into me! He bumped into me and it was a little bit lame and a little bit obvious but I don’t care at all because he talked to me and he touched me and this is actually happening.

Liam doesn’t like what we’re doing and stormed off after but I can’t find it in myself to care right now because it’s been months and this boy who made me change my whole way of thinking, talked - to - me.

I wish… I wish I could really put into words how this feels. How my heart is hammering and my mind is swirling and I feel fourteen again but I really can’t. I’m just really excited for tomorrow now, and the day after and the day after that.”

*^*^*

“I swear I almost died tonight. I thought either my heart was going to just give out or I’d get my arse handed to me on a plate by Zayn once I punched him. Which I really wanted to do because he was grinding all over Louis at this party we went to and I was one step away from blowing it all. I hated someone else touching him - Louis, not Zayn - and when they kissed I think my heart stopped for a minute. Either that or my brain!

It’s weird yeah because I knew I liked him but seeing him with someone else made me want him even more. Not just sexually either but just… I want him to be mine. I want to go to parties with him and have him by my side. I want to be able to lean over and kiss him half way through a conversation. It was a bit of an eye opener really…. I’ve not felt like this before. I’ve never classed myself as a jealous guy.

We also got to talk a little tonight. We sat in the garden and shared a beer. I swear I was shaking - he must have noticed but he didn’t say anything. He was actually really nice. The more I get to know him the more this feeling in my chest grows because I did kind of worry that I’d talk to him and he’d turn out to be a right prick but he’s not, not at all. He was teasing and cheeky and I tried so hard to be confident. I even told him I was gay - which I guess he knows but that was still huge for me and he just joked about it like it was nothing and I like that. It’s like he doesn’t judge people. He’s genuinely nice.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a little bit over my head but then I realise that without this whole plan I probably would have never spoken to him and I couldn’t give that up for anything.”

*^*^*

“Kill me now. Seriously. If I died right now I would die happy because we kissed this morning and it was everything. He was so soft and sexy and how can one guy be so perfect. There has to be something wrong with him because it’s almost too much just to be around him. I think my brain might have melted because I really can’t do this right now.”

*^*^*

“I’m such an idiot! What is wrong with me? Everything! Because I made one stupid decision after another tonight and now.. fucking hell. I doubt he’s ever going to talk to me again after this. What a TWAT!

…. I thought… we were getting on so well. I almost forgot he was only talking to me because we had tricked him. Everything was perfect and we were at the park and opening up and I told him about Rachel and the guy that made me realise I was gay. Of course I didn’t tell him the guy was him but I’m such a fucking idiot because although he said it was fine and we shared this amazing kiss in the rain he then just stopped talking to me. He avoided my calls all weekend but I couldn’t leave it alone. I mean what if Zayn had told him?

I couldn’t take his dismissal - I had to explain that I wasn’t the dick-head he thought I was so I went over there, practically forced my way into his room and instead of explaining myself and begging for forgiveness, I jump him. Literally fucking jump on him and… well did some other stupid, but amazing, things and how anything is going to be ok after I this I don’t know. I’ve ruined it. Everything. Liam was right. I should have left it alone. I should have approached him at a party or asked Zayn to introduce us because now I’ve lost him and I’m the only one to blame.

…. I guess this will be the last one of these. Plan over.”

*^*^*

“Ok so I’m back and actually, things didn’t completely go to shit. Although if that were true I might seem a bit more pleased…. see Louis came over after the whole incident. I’d just finished being yelled at by Liam for letting this thing go on for so long and promised him I would let Louis go if that’s what he wanted. Then he knocks at the door looking all bloody troubled and adorable and hopeful.

He told me about the plan. His side of it anyway. He was so fucking sorry and I was going to tell him I knew - I honestly was but then he kissed me like it would be our last and told me he cared about me. Louis Tomlinson, he cares about me! I can’t wrap my head around that, and I couldn’t even think because he cares about me, stupid gangly Harry Styles, a boy so desperate he tricks his crush into dating him. I know I should have said something but I had a second chance and I couldn’t not take it.

But now I’m stuck in this constant state of flux because I am stupidly happy but ridiculously guilty and I don’t know what to do because I think I really do love him. It might seem premature to use the big old ‘L’ word especially as I used to joke about being in love with a boy I’d never met, but I do know him now and I when I think about him not being in my life it hurts. There is actual physical pain.

I need to talk to Zayn. Maybe he could do the film about something else - or at least keep my involvement out of it because I will not lose Louis. I can’t. Not now. Because I love him and he cares about me and I’ve dreamt of this scenario but never imagined it could happen. I’m rambling.. sorry.. it’s surprising how reliant I’ve become on this video. It’s actually quite therapeutic.”

*^*^*

“Sorry I’ve been M.I.A for a while, I have a very good reason. Yes that reason is Louis! Things have been going good, really good, we’re together properly - all boyfriendly and stuff and it’s great… except for one thing.

Zayn won’t change the film.

I don’t blame him, not really, he’s just looking out for his best-friend. We’ve argued about it a lot lately, he’s warned me that if I don’t tell Louis he will and it’s not that I don’t want to tell him - I’ve actually tried a couple of times - it’s just I don’t want to lose him and whichever way I look at this I can’t see how he could forgive me for it. I wouldn’t even expect him to because I think if it was me, that was in his position, I’d never forgive him. I’ve made our whole relationship exist on a lie and I want nothing more than to go back in time and make different decisions because the idea of losing him for good is all too real….

It was so easy to ignore it at first. If I forgot about the deception then I could just be with him and enjoy it but now I can’t stop thinking about it… the guilt is destructive. It’s eating away at me and I’m torn because I have to tell him, I need to tell him but I’m scared. I’ve never had so much to lose before.”

 

~17~

 

Louis clicked the TV off and ran a shaky hand slowly over his face as he exhaled. When after a handful of miserable days he had finally relented and watched the DVD, he hadn’t been expecting what he’d found. It may have been narcissistic of him but he had honestly thought that the film would be about all the times he had made a fool of himself… like the bumping incident or the meal that Zayn had dictated in his ear.

Instead it had been about Harry; his reasoning and his thoughts. Only brief snippets of Louis’ video diaries had been used and only silent visuals of the two together had been playing in the background. Including the kiss they had shared in the rain, that Louis may or may not have rewound and replayed too many times to count.

Predictably, watching it had formed a knot in his gut. Because Harry may have lied but there was no denying how much he cared for Louis. His intent had been to find love, to spend time with the person he had a crush on. He hadn’t meant to hurt Louis and that was more than Louis could say for his part in the plan.

It was also abundantly clear that Zayn hadn’t meant to betray Louis’ trust and in affect most definitely hadn’t deserved Louis’ anger. He threw the remote control onto his bed, slipped on his Toms, grabbed his coat and left the house knowing what he had to do.

Nerves danced in his stomach as he made his way up the stairwell and to the familiar student accommodation. He hadn’t particularly planned what he was going to say - he just knew that grovelling would be involved and deserved.

Soaked in trepidation he lifted his hand and knocked three times. When the door swung open only seconds later, Louis found it impossibly hard to lift his eyes from the ground.

“Hey.” He muttered, squinting up awkwardly to see his friend smile at him softly.

“Hey.”

“I watched the rest of the film - it was…. Good.. top grade stuff yeah.” Louis raised his gaze fully and met the sympathetic eyes of his best mate.

“Lou,” Zayn sighed but was cut off before he could say anything further.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things to you - I was angry and I needed someone to blame and..”

“And I’m your best mate that made a shitty mistake. See the thing is no-one is innocent in all this…” Louis nodded as he recognised the truth it had taken him days to understand. “You coming in?”

“Um.. I think… I don’t know.. I was maybe gonna go see Harry?” He had thought that he’d gone to Zayn to apologise but maybe it was for more. He needed his friend more than anything, he had no idea what to do or… well he just had no idea. He was completely in over his head and that was the problem really. His head and his heart wanted two different things. He’d take any help he could get.

“Right, well that’s good yeah, you’ll sort things out?” Zayn eyed him carefully, trying his best to see what it was Louis needed to hear.

“Maybe..” He oozed uncertainty from every pore and shrugged helplessly.

“Lou come in for a drink yeah.” It was more a command than an invitation and Louis was grateful that a decision - no matter how small - had been taken out of his hands.

“Yeah.”

Zayn’s room was small and cramped but he had put in his own fridge and kettle so quickly set about making tea. Louis made himself comfortable on the bed, the only place in the room to sit, and enjoyed the silence that fell between them. The only sounds were the hissing of the kettle and the clinking of the cups.

“I think he really loves you you know.” Zayn started, passing Louis a steaming mug and seating himself beside his friend on his un-made bed.

“Yeah, he um, told me, but I - god I’m such a fuck up! He told me and I just left! Who does that? I mean fuck…” He shook his caramel head and stared into his cup before taking a sip. He welcomed the burn. It served him right. Nobody deserved to have a declaration of love ignored and he had done just that.

“Your being a little hard on yourself mate, you had every right to be angry.” Zayn placed a hand on Louis’ knee and gave it a firm squeeze. Louis knew he was right. He did have a right to be angry and he was. He was angry about the lies but how could he be angry about the reason? Harry had done all this to get to know him, where as Louis had done it for revenge… real or not.

“Did I? I did exactly the same thing to him as he did to me,”

“It was a bit different,” Zayn argued, releasing his friend’s knee and flexing his toes against the mattress.

“Was it? We both went into this willingly. My plan was to hurt him, his was to love me and I may have told him about it but maybe that was selfish of me… Like who did I tell him for? Was it for his own good or mine? It was my conscience I was trying to ease. I was so angry at him Zayn and now I’m just not. Now I just miss him.”

“Do you love him?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?!” Louis laughed a little into his cup, his breath pushing the steam further out into the room.

“Sorry,” Zayn shrugged and for a second everything was back to normal. For a second it was just Louis and Zayn, best friends. He could pretend it was like any other time they had sat in the room drinking tea and talking shit.

“I think…” Louis paused, unsure whether he should give away the card that he held close to his chest. “That if I do, he should be the first to know.”

“You are gonna go see him then?”

“Yeah I think so..” It was clear he was still undecided on the matter. There was actually nothing he wanted more than to pick himself up and go and see Harry but he just wasn’t sure he was over it all yet. He was scared that when he looked at the younger boy he would see the lies and not the intention. He didn’t know if he was ready to take the risk.

“Look Louis, I don’t want to play devils advocate here but, just.. Only fix this if you can honestly say you forgive him. Don’t let this be something that you hold over him - that wouldn’t be fair on either of you.” It made sense and it was what he was thinking himself, however to hear it from Zayn made it sound negative. As if the northern lad thought Louis would be making a mistake by dashing over to Harry. It gave him something more to think about. Fucking great.

“I.. Yeah ok.”

The pair finished their tea and talked about more trivial things, both desperately trying to get their relationship back to what it was. It was pretty easy actually to forget Zayn’s part in it all when he was re-telling Niall’s most recent failed attempt at picking up girls.

In the end Louis didn’t go and see Harry. He knew he had to be certain about his decision because he knew that Harry was special. He didn’t want to ruin things by not doing them right. Not again. So he left Zayn’s after an hour or so and meandered back home for dinner. Yet another perk of living at home while his friends lived their poverished student lives.

His mum greeted him over a boiling pot of pasta as he entered the house and he gave her a quick kiss before darting up to his room. He had felt lighter since leaving Zayn, glad that their friendship hadn’t been compromised after everything that happened and although he still had some things to think about, he felt ok. Better.

He noticed it straight away. As soon as he overstepped the threshold he knew that something was different and that something was the crisp white envelope resting on his pillow. Within seconds he was turning it over in his hands, studying it. There was nothing on the front, no name or command but there was something about it that made his heart pick up speed.

Slowly he picked open the flap and slid his fingers beneath to lift it. There was a single item inside and as soon as he pulled it from his casing he knew who it was from. Harry. Because in his hands was a ticket to see White Cream that night. The band they had in common. The band who ineffectually introduced Harry to Louis and started everything.

Louis hadn’t even realised they were on tour and that was testament to just how distracted he had been lately. He stared down at the ticket knowing he would be there when the doors opened at seven.

*^*^*

The music was loud and the crowd thick as Louis walked through the venue’s doors. He had no idea what to expect but his eyes were instantly scanning the room for a tall, lithe frame topped in adorably curly hair.

Louis nodded along to the opening act, a band he had no idea of the name of, as he weaved through the mass of bodies to get closer to the stage. If he couldn't see then he could at least try to be seen. Without intention he soon found himself bobbing along to the beat, one eye on the stage and one eye canvasing around him, hoping for just one glimpse of the boy he was looking out for.

It occurred to him, only when the actual band took the stage, that he might have got it wrong. Maybe it wasn’t a gift from Harry. Maybe it was just his mum trying to cheer him up, although he’s sure she would have said something over dinner if that had been the case. Ether way, maybe he had got his hopes up for nothing. Maybe this wasn’t the declaration he was hoping it would be.

He forced himself to think about something other than Harry and tried to lose himself in the band and music that he loved so much. And he did. Louis let the lyrics flood his mind until he was incapable of thought beyond the words they sung. He let his arms lift into the air and his feet lift up from the ground as the rhythm quite literally took him over.

When strong familiar hands grasped at his waist three songs in, he tried his best to compose himself and not turn around. Instead he relaxed into it and pressed his body back until it hit upon it’s target. He let the warmth spread across his skin as hot breath trailed along the column of his neck and hips ground into his.

He soaked in the moment incase it was their last.

“Come outside with me…” Harry whispered loudly in his ear and the older boy could only swallow and nod in response. Harry trailed a hand down Louis side until their fingers were entwined and proceeded to lead the pair through the crowd and out the back door into an alley.

The beat was still prominent, crashing through the brick to prick at his ear drums, but the lyrics were diluted and he was standing before Harry. There was only the glow of one flickering street lamp providing a dim light across their faces. But that didn’t stop Louis seeing the beauty in the man before him.

“Hi, I’m Gay Harry.” He broke the silence with his soft drawl and Louis’ stomach was in knots. “I’ve been watching you all night and I knew that if I didn’t come and get your name I’d regret it. Probably so much so that I’d end up doing something stupid just to get your attention.”

Harry bit at his lip nervously and Louis desperately wanted to cry. There was so much emotion building behind his eyes that he was sure the pressure would be too much for them to stand. Harry was apologising. Harry was giving them a chance to start over. Doing it the way it should have been done. Louis’ heart swelled in his chest. If ever he had doubted what he wanted, he was now overwhelmed with certain clarity.

“I’m probably bi Louis.” He played along, smiling softly. “And I’m in love with you.”

“Lou..” Harry’s breath caught in this throat as he choked on the word. His green eyes clouded with emotion and it was all Louis could do to put them both out of their misery.

“You never meant to hurt me - I get that now and if you can forgive me - when my whole intention was to hurt you, then… I want to try us again. The way it should have been.” He hadn’t realised it up until then but he meant every syllable. He knew that he had it in himself to get over it. To forget their beginning and concentrate on the right now. If of course that was what Harry wanted too.

“I’d like that.” Harry grinned, his teeth gleaming as he moved closer and gripped Louis’ hands tightly in his. It stayed unspoken between them that Harry had no intention of letting go.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Because I love you too.”

They lost themselves to each other in the dark alley. They took the time to study the other, memorise every second so that they could replace the bad memories with this. The time they met at the concert and fell in love.

Moments later Harry bridged the small gap between them and joined their lips in the gentlest caress. It was a simple kiss that held the weight of their hearts, full and happy and hopeful. Louis lifted his hands to rest on either side of Harry’s cool cheeks and pulled away slowly, a laugh playing at his lips.

“Bit forward aren’t you?”

Harry laughed and looped his own hands around Louis’ waist until they crossed on his slender back. “Well I learned recently to go after what I wanted before I had the chance to mess it up.”

“In that case..” Louis drew them into a second kiss, more passionate than the last, using his lips to absorb every inch of himself Harry was willing to give.

They let the diluted beat thrum though their veins as they basked in each other, enjoyed a kiss they never thought would come and allowed themselves to forget about the past and focus on the future.

“Ok then Harry,” Harry smiled broadly at him, “who I’ve never met before this night,” Louis punctuated his words with an exaggerated wink. “Wanna dance?”

Harry’s answer was instantaneous, “Definitely.”

 

~The End~


End file.
